My dad's " Rod of discipline" he used on me when I was a child. Found it in the basement.

[u/zfreakazoidz]

[u/HappinessIsaColdPint]

My father made a "Board of Education."

It was a large paddle he cut, carved and sanded; then painted those words very precisely on. Complete with a graduation cap hanging off the corner of the B.

He was very proud of it.

[u/FreudianSlipperyNipp → u/HappinessIsaColdPint]

Can you imagine sitting there, in your workshop, carefully and lovingly crafting the tool you’ll use to injure your child? What a fucked up mindset.

[u/Pbranson → u/FreudianSlipperyNipp]

My dad made me make it with him.

[u/Croppin_steady → u/Pbranson]

Jc making it with him lol. Really putting some effort into it, getting all the lines correct and corners rounded perfectly. I envision you blowing on it to reveal an excellent carving of some sort in slow motion. Only to be on the wrong side of it for years to come. So brutal.

[u/No-Sky-3394 → u/Pbranson]

My dad made me to go out and find a stick in the wood. I knew not to bring back a stick that’s too flimsy because that would make him more angry and hit me more. I didn’t want to risk incurring additional whipping so I brought back a piece that he would be satisfied with using to spank me. I don’t do this to my children.

[u/BadWolfBella]

For me, it was a ping pong paddle with holes in it, to reduce drag.

Holy shit I'm so sorry for all of us

[u/RedEyeFlightToOZ → u/BadWolfBella]

My dad whipped me with a belt. No one remembers but me and I distinctly remember it.

[u/clintCamp → u/RedEyeFlightToOZ]

Our family heritage was that at my grandpa's funeral his little secret came out. When he had to discipline the children back in the 60s he would tell them that when he cracked the belt against itself they needed to scream really loud so that mom thought that they were getting properly punished. Never actually hit the kids. Grandma felt bad and thought he had been hitting each of them for punishment. I miss my grandparents.

[u/[deleted] → u/BadWolfBella]

You know you're abused when your parents took air resistance into account

[u/ProfessorTitsNass → u/[deleted]]

My parents didn’t (they were handers) but I knew a friends mum who used a kitchen spatula because it allowed for maximum weight-to-pain delivery ratio. She wasn’t a big woman and the holes in it/large surface area allowed for her to be swift and precise.

[u/Themasterofcomedy209 → u/BadWolfBella]

Never thought I’d be thankful my parents used their hands to punish me, at least they didn’t bust out the specially designed discipline paddle jesus christ

[u/R0gueART → u/BadWolfBella]

My mom did the same and she BROKE IT on my ass because she whooped me so hard, she no longer does that now that I’m a teen

[u/Throwaway7219017]

My mom spanked me with the same wooden spoon she lovingly stirred my favourite foods with.

[u/Dovaldo83 → u/Throwaway7219017]

When my mom would spank us with a wooden spoon, me and my brother would later secretly hide that wooden spoon in a hidden space beneath the kitchen table our parents didn't know about.

By the time we moved, there was at least a dozen spoons, spatulas, and some of those paddle ball toys with the string ripped off.

If you ask my mom today she's convinced she never spanked us.

[u/cat_prophecy → u/Dovaldo83]

If you ask my mom today she's convinced she never spanked us.

Don’t you love that? My dad when he was alive would say shit like he never hit us or if we swore “I don’t know where you kids get that language from!”. Like dad, you can barely finish a sentence without swearing.

Edit:my dad’s favorite swears were “god damn motherfucker” and “stupid piece of dog shit fuck”

[u/kentro2002 → u/cat_prophecy]

My mom says we were never spanked (we are 50+ years old now). My sis and I shared a room with twin beds against each wall with 3 feet in between, and my dad would take off his belt, have us lay flat on stomachs, and stand in the middle going back and forth whipping us like a metronome.

[u/TahoeMoon → u/kentro2002]

Yikes!! My mom would spank the three of us even if just one of us got in trouble; I thought that was bad enough, but your dad takes the cake.

[u/fuckingcocksniffers → u/TahoeMoon]

wanna hear dysfunctional? My step father used to have 5 of us stand in a circle and spank each other..... occasionally he would do that to find out who actually did something. But if you spoke up against the guilty, they walked away and you got your ass beat for being a snitch.

[u/AnAussiebum → u/fuckingcocksniffers]

Just sounds like your stepfather just enjoyed being abusive to children. Using any excuse to give corporal punishment. "Oh you did the crime, that's a hit, oh you won't snitch who did it, that's a hit, oh you actually snitched? Hitting time!"

Sounds very traumatic. I'm sorry for you and your siblings. Especially since this sounds like a dynamic that could breed hatred and contempt amongst siblings towards each other. Very dysfunctional.

This is why when boomers scoff at modern day parents who actively avoid any form of physical punishment, I definitely side eye them.

[u/qtain → u/kentro2002]

My father believed heavily in 'You don't hit women'. My sister fucked up? hit the boy. Pissed off at the wife? hit the boy. Drunk? hit the boy. Bad day at the shop? hit the boy. Who said chivalry is dead.

[u/SquirrelGod9000 → u/qtain]

My Dad was the type where you never really knew were you stood when it came to punishment. Screw up big time and you'd get a warning. Something small because he was stressed out? An ass whooping. When he was much older and very sick he told me he wanted to start our relationship over, I told him it's too late for that.

[u/merlynmagus → u/SquirrelGod9000]

My dad too. He said "That man is dead. He's born again in Christ."

Okay. I'm atheist. And he's standing right in front of me and I'm still mad. It wasn't just spankings. The dude who lectured me about accountability sure as hell found a loophole to avoid it.

[u/HappyMelonGirl → u/cat_prophecy]

I was removed from my mom's care when I was 4 without visitation due to how dangerous she was towards me. She's an addict, so I'm sure you can guess some of the shit she put me through. Plus my grandma took me in and still gave her free access to me.

Recently she asked me "what about your childhood gave you PTSD, anyways?" and truly couldn't comprehend 'what was so bad' about my situation.

EDIT: for people offended by me saying "I'm sure you can guess" because shes an addict, here's a clarification. My mom's mental struggles in combination with a drug or alcohol induced high led her to neglect, beat, kidnap, physically restrain, or berate me.

She never did any of these things when sober, she literally doesn't even remember half of them. I'm not saying every single addict is guilty of this. I'm saying that you can guess the type of abuse because I was removed from her care for my own protection.

[u/Rhodychic → u/HappyMelonGirl]

My mom was pissed when my older, grown sister put a bumper sticker on her car that said "It's never too late to have a happy childhood." Funny thing is, she abandoned her 2 kids to find this "happy childhood".

Edit for clarity: my sister abandoned her kids, not my mom

[u/TonyStarksAirFryer → u/Rhodychic]

she as in the mom or she as in the sister

[u/TahoeMoon → u/HappyMelonGirl]

I am so sorry you had to go through that. No child deserves that type of abuse; just like no abusive parent/grandparent deserves to maintain a relationship with the child once they are grown up and healing.

[u/SpentTheDay → u/cat_prophecy]

Its frustrating. My dad was, by far, the worst bully I had in my life. Now that I'm big enough to beat the shit out of him if he tried to go back to that, he has no idea why I have the attitude I do towards him.

[u/antroxdemonator → u/SpentTheDay]

Yeah, mine is the same way. He recently did something that nearly tore the family apart. He tried to tell me to clean up a mess he made when I wasn't even living in the house, then when I told him no, he started yelling, and I wanted to clock his ass.

[u/Mountain_Sweet_5703 → u/SpentTheDay]

Ha, I remember once I was trying to go out to a music venue. Old dance hall, small town texas. I was probably 18. Dad was finding reasons for me to not go and settled on “it’s dangerous and you have an attitude. You’re going to say something wrong and get stabbed”. I argued that I have plenty of experience talking down angry old drunks and I know how to not get hurt. He asked where I got any of that experience.

Like, motherfucker. Right now. You’re drunk and yelling at me and threatening violence. Because I want to go watch Willie Nelson. At a dance hall. I know how to talk down angry drunks because I’ve been practicing since I could fucking walk.

[u/crystalconnie → u/cat_prophecy]

Mine claims he never hit us and has never been drunk. Wild

[u/ForkAKnife → u/crystalconnie]

Mine swore she never left us in the car to go grocery shopping despite my memories of turning the steering wheel left and right on routine trips across the states.

[u/jideru → u/Dovaldo83]

My parents have that same hole in their mind

[u/IndependentOil5899 → u/jideru]

Haha wow I thought it was only my parents who “don’t remember” my mother used to hit us with a cut off piece of hose. That was some real pain that I know I will always remember and she somehow doesn’t remember ever using it 😂

[u/redgroupclan → u/IndependentOil5899]

Why do abusive parents all seem to have a selective memory? Are they too ashamed to self-reflect and admit to themselves they took out their anger on their kids?

[u/Far_Contribution3033 → u/redgroupclan]

It seems like denial on the surface but I’m pretty sure most of them are just lying.

[u/The-Tea-Lord → u/jideru]

It’s very strange. My parents don’t remember saying “you’re a fatass” or “you are one of the most negative kids I’ve ever talked to” or the constant beatings, or forcing me to run miles around the house because I broke a plate by accident.

They say “we were cruel! But we didn’t abuse you” but I don’t see the difference. You don’t mistreat a kid to the point where they tense up and flinch back when you’re walking in their general direction, and NOT call that abuse.

Edit 2: I feel it’s worth saying, the “we didn’t abuse you” part was said while I was having a panic attack after my dad went up behind me and said “I should just-“ and then clapped his hands hard behind my head.

Edit: I’m turning off notifications for a while, I need some time to just get my mind off of this, and also so my parents don’t actually see this too lol

[u/Ashesnhale → u/The-Tea-Lord]

The axe forgets but the tree remembers

[u/HotBizkit → u/Ashesnhale]

Don't remember where that's from. But this is a great quote.

[u/Nihilistra → u/HotBizkit]

Maybe you also know and like this turkish one, for me it has a lot of importance:

"The forest was shrinking but the trees kept voting for the axe, for the axe was clever and convinced the trees that because his handle was made of wood he was one of them."

[u/malross → u/HotBizkit]

It’s a Zimbabwean proverb but was used recently in Andor.

[u/EinKookie → u/The-Tea-Lord]

So true. Its good to see, that i am not alone with this problem. In my case, after talking to her (my mom) a lot she seems to give in just a bit. But only small fractures of the whole story. Can't imagine why some parents live in total denial of their horrible actions. They probably could not live with themselves if they would accept their failures and disturbing impacts on their children.

[u/Nukiko → u/EinKookie]

Most of the time it's because their parents treated them the exact same way, and to them it's seen as normal. It's a fucked up cycle of abuse that a lot of people do not have the self awareness for to snap out of.

[u/heribut → u/jideru]

Haha my mom admits to “spanking” but prides herself on never having hit us in the face. PS: she hit us in the face. A lot.

[u/PrestigeMaster → u/jideru]

Guess it’s a common thing. My stepdad literally broke a pizza paddle in half on my ass, then I got spankings with half of a pizza paddle lol. To this day my mother swears up and down that I never got spanked.

[u/sayracer → u/Dovaldo83]

My mom used a plastic koolaid spoon with the koolaid guy's face which would leave his face on my behind. Funny in hindsight

[u/MeIIowJeIIo → u/sayracer]

OH YEAH!

[u/ZombieLibrarian → u/MeIIowJeIIo]

Now I’m picturing that person’s ass as a brick wall.

[u/lobsterbash → u/ZombieLibrarian]

Kool-aid man breaking through your ass

[u/Sittingonthepot → u/sayracer]

Upvote for “hindsight “

[u/Sportyj → u/Dovaldo83]

Why do you think that is? Why do they deny it? My mom is the same. Bish you had a wooden spoon in the glove box, your bedroom drawer m, purse - all over!

[u/josh_the_misanthrope → u/Sportyj]

Guilt leads to denial. They can't face the emotions that come along with the guilt.

[u/taebek1 → u/Dovaldo83]

My dad was a toolmaker and made a special polymer paddle for us until my Mom broke it over my wrist.

My Mom has the same hole in her memory.

[u/ElectronicShredder → u/taebek1]

Stop that! We're not savages.

Here, use this my dear

[u/dirty_dizzel → u/Dovaldo83]

You have to admire the commitment to revisionist memories.

[u/MarginalMadness → u/Dovaldo83]

You've just absolutely awoken something in me. I had a good childhood compared to many, but my parents, much like many parents had their problems, and they weren't the quiet private problems either. I remember my sister hiding under the table with the dog trying to protect her, (just from shouting etc, nothing too terrible) and my mother and father going at it.

I don't have a single memory of my mum and dad cuddling, or being affectionate, or even holding hands. Perhaps they did, and I just didn't see it.

But I gently bring this up with my mother now, many years later on, and she actually did separate from my father once my sister and I had properly fled the nest....

And she remembers none of it.

I thought she was just deflecting, and I was happy to let her do it....

But maybe she really doesn't remember?

The axe forgets, but the tree remembers.

Thanks Reddit.

[u/deannnh → u/MarginalMadness]

As a kid, I was spanked, beaten, thrown in the floor, slapped in the face, even beaten with the metal end of a fly swatter which left an... interesting bruise. My mom doesn't remember any of it. But that was formative for me.

Years later, I have my own kids. It happens sometimes where I have my own shit going on and I snap at my kids for something that didn't deserve that reaction. I don't put hands on them, but I do overreact on occasion. My son still brings up some of those moments even though they happened when he was 4, and he's 6 now. What may be a simple fleeting moment of annoyance or anger for a parent may be a lifelong scar for a kid.

All of that is to say, I think the reason all our parents forgot is because for them it was a Tuesday, but for us it was an earth-shattering revelation.

[u/Silent-JET → u/Dovaldo83]

My mom also lives in denial! One time she came out and broke a spoon on her hand while threatening me with it. I was a teenager by then, but she still claims that she’d never laid a hand on me.

[u/Lost_Astronaut_654 → u/Silent-JET]

My parents preferred a more psychological approach where if I screwed up my dad would yell at me for like 4 hours straight and then if I explained why or what I thought he said I was disrespectful and deserved to be alone and homeless. I often wished he would skip the speech and cut it short with a beating( which he threatened multiple times each scolding), but maybe I only wish he beat me instead because I never felt I could say anything bad about the situation since they did no harm. Sorry for the rant

[u/bread9411 → u/Dovaldo83]

It's horrible when they don't remember their abuses, it hurts. I think the reason why they don't remember is because it wasn't traumatic for them... So it's only deeply engrained in our minds.

[u/The7Pope → u/bread9411]

I think the reason why they don’t remember is because it wasn’t traumatic for them…

But…… what about the “this is gonna hurt me worse than it hurts you!” I was always told before the spankings?

[u/Thundorium → u/bread9411]

Or they remember but are too embarrassed to admit it.

[u/_littlestitious → u/Dovaldo83]

It’s not spanking if you don’t use your hands!

- your mom, probably

[u/Randyfreakingmarsh → u/Dovaldo83]

Same. I got hit in the face and hit I the head from behind with textbooks, if it ever gets brought up it’s like I’m insane and it never happened.

[u/Caiggas → u/Randyfreakingmarsh]

We were homeschooled and used the Saxon math curriculum. The books are these several pound massive hardback tomes. My mother "taught" us, but as soon as we could read we were expected to teach ourselves the lesson and she just graded the question results. We would get in horrific trouble if we got more than 5 out of 30 questions wrong. I was lucky enough to be good at math and even better at cheating. Getting them all right was doable, but automatically assumed and punished as cheating. I made sure to average 3 questions wrong every question set for years. My brother was not so lucky. He is a smart guy, but In different areas. I witnessed him be verbally degraded and beaten nearly every day after trying to do math. She would get enraged at him and grab his math book and strike him on the back of his head with it. She would do this repeatedly all while calling him "stupid" and "bull-headed". He would be made to completely redo the lesson with no help (because she didn't actually understand the concepts either) until he could get it perfect or nearly so.

I kind of blocked most of this memory out, so I'm sorry if I kind of dumped it in an unorganized manner. It kind of just all came out.

[u/sharklar → u/Dovaldo83]

Haha wow the paddle ball toy , yep learned really quickly I didn't want any more of those , thanks mom .

[u/davidalso → u/Dovaldo83]

My mom has been denying it for so long that I've almost accepted that my memory is faulty.

It's wild to see that this is actually common.

[u/chirs5757 → u/Dovaldo83]

Shared the same experience. We would also put socks in our underwear before the spanking.

[u/fire_thorn → u/Throwaway7219017]

My sister used to take the wooden spoons and bury them in the back yard. The year after I moved out, there was a flood and all the wooden spoons came up from the ground. My mother blamed me, of course.

[u/zfreakazoidz → u/Throwaway7219017]

Not sure what I hated more. My dads wooden ping pong paddle, to the wooden spoon my grandmother used. Paddle was always more of an even sharp pain. The spoon lasted longer though pain wise.

[u/T-BONEandtheFAM → u/Throwaway7219017]

My mom used a ping pong paddle. We didn’t own a ping pong table

[u/ZulZah]

I have kids myself and when it's time to beat them, which I always do, it's in mario kart and smash bros.

[u/InternationalWar3567 → u/ZulZah]

Good to see people are still beating their kids with a switch!

Edit: Thanks for the gold!

[u/Castun → u/InternationalWar3567]

"You're in big trouble, mister! Go get the Switch!"

[u/disforpron → u/InternationalWar3567]

Fuck this is a good joke.

[u/scottdenis → u/ZulZah]

Enjoy it while it lasts, my daughter is absolutely beating my ass in Mario cart now. Its gotten to the point where she doesn't even talk shit anymore but tells me I did really good for not falling too far behind.

[u/setibeings → u/scottdenis]

That's its own kind of trash talk, depending on how it's delivered.

[u/scottdenis → u/setibeings]

I think it's sincere, and that makes it worse.

[u/shoshanna_in_japan → u/ZulZah]

Great dad right here. Beat them kids at their own game!

[u/1stLtObvious → u/shoshanna_in_japan]

Their game? It was my game long before my nephews existed.

[u/HideousYouAre → u/ZulZah]

Haha! My husband beats my oldest two constantly. In Magic. One day they’ll get him. All I know is a I hear lot of yelling (and laughing) in the dining room at nighttime.

[u/nelopnoj]

We had a 1x6 solid piece of oak, sanded smooth and finished like a cricket bat. They padded the handle so when they spanked up they didn’t hurt their hand. After we were spanked they made us write our name on the board. They called it the board of education. When I had my son my mother brought it by and said you’ll need this. I took it out into my shop and chopped it up into a bunch of pieces and brought it back to her.

[u/AuburnHairedCrow → u/nelopnoj]

My grandparents had something very similar. 2 hand carved wooden paddles of different size with 2 generations names carved in it.

[u/EmykoEmyko → u/AuburnHairedCrow]

Ugh! No wonder people feel like criticism of spanking is a personal attack — it’s part of some people’s family heritage!

[u/simplify9 → u/EmykoEmyko]

Stockholm Syndrome runs deep. The folks who run MK Ultra would tell you (if they were allowed to) that trauma is the most effective form of mind control.

When it comes to corporal punishment, most people only ask the question, "How does this change the child's behavior?" Our society is too afraid to ask the question, "How does the act of inflicting corporal punishment change the *parent's* behavior?"

[u/burnerschmurnerimtom → u/nelopnoj]

“My dainty little hands get sore while hitting my child :-(“

[u/loki1337 → u/burnerschmurnerimtom]

"this hurts me more than this hurts you"

[u/ORAquabat → u/loki1337]

Fuck, kid me hated that phrase.

[u/ChickenGamer199 → u/ORAquabat]

My dad said I'd thank him when I was older. And the truth is I do thank him. I thank him for teaching me how not to treat my children.

[u/ConfessingToSins → u/ChickenGamer199]

I got to tell My mom this years later. "Remember when you said I'd thank you? All those years hitting me for no reason? I'm 30 now, and all i learned was that you were a shit parent"

We do not get along.

[u/CaughtInDireWood → u/loki1337]

Aw fuck. I forgot about that phrase until now. You unlocked a memory I didn’t know I had. Even more reason for me to not parent like mine did.

[u/PistachiNO → u/nelopnoj]

Pretty pretty please tell me how she reacted to that, in detail. I want catharsis for my own trauma by living vicariously through you.

[u/DChapman77 → u/nelopnoj]

I'm so proud of you.

[u/808sandsourgrapes → u/DChapman77]

I was hit with a yardstick growing up. My mom would do it when she was mad at me, but my dad was usually against it. When I was 14-ish, he hit me once in the face with a wooden spoon when our family was in particular turmoil and I came back up from my head reeling back and just looked at him. My mom was telling him to hit me again but I didn’t stop looking and he put his hand down. He came into my room later that night and apologized and never hit me again.

My sister was born later that year and I didn’t break the cycle of abuse until she was 5, when I spanked her and she didn’t cry. And I realized I was doing the same thing my parents were, and just started putting her in time out and talking to her.

My mom hit her but one time it was particularly bad and I told her that if she wanted both kids who grew up to never visit her, she can keep doing it, but if not, she needed to stop. I had been out of the house since I was 17 and I never looked back. It sank in that time.

My sister’s a great kid now. And idk, man, just seeing how less burdened by trauma she is makes me feel so hopeful.

I think people have kids and view them as objects. My mom believed that we were bound to love her unconditionally, but I didn’t talk to her for years and she eventually learned.

Sorry for ranting, it was just so nice to see all the comments about breaking the cycle. That’s what keeps me going.

[u/WhisperAuger → u/nelopnoj]

I mean, don't leave your kid at the grandparents.

[u/littleb242]

I don't talk to my dad anymore, growing up you think it's normal getting beat punched in the face ect, as you get older you realize that shit isn't normal, my dad was a dick, fuck him

[u/JimNayseeum → u/littleb242]

There was a neighborhood kid down the street who was rumored to have been beat by his dad often and ended up hanging himself....kid was in 6th grade.

[u/Hahka-01 → u/JimNayseeum]

Yeah, i've been wanting to die since i was around 8 or 9. Still do. Parents haven't... won't change.

[u/darthrater78]

My dad used a car fan belt. It really was unpleasant because of the little metal pieces sticking out of it.

When I got older I realized he was perpetuating a cycle of abuse since his dad beat the shit out of him as well.

I don't hold it against him (he died when I was 20 of alcoholism) and I do not beat any of my kids.

It's only a circle if you continue the angle.

[u/az0606 → u/darthrater78]

Growing up, with a child's logic, I thought he beat me because he hated me.

In my mid-20s I realized that he did it because he thought it was care (to give me discipline, make me normal and acceptable, make me strong, etc.). That was actually worse for a while because it somehow hurt more, perhaps because it humanized him.

Old world parents often don't talk much about their background, which can really sever you from your ancestry and culture. It wasn't till I went with him to China when his mother was dying that I saw how his older brother (who basically raised him, and was his primary abuser) treated him exactly the same way he treated me.

I spent my life trying to be anything but my dad, despite being very similar to him. But I got locked into his cycle of anger, hate, self-punishment, etc. It was horrifying to find out that it wasn't bad intentions that set him on his path of abuse, but good ones. I think one of, if not the worst, things about abuse is how it perpetuates itself. Not only that, but how it divests you of support mechanisms; you can feel so alone because you don't know how to be anything but walled off, and you certainly don't know how to ask for help.

[u/FuckMe-FuckYou]

My dad had a horse whip.

I dont speak to him anymore.

[u/peakblack → u/FuckMe-FuckYou]

When the belt wasn’t strong enough for him, my dad also resorted to a horsewhip.

After a couple of uses, my mom finally decided it had gone too far and forced him to throw it out.

Edit: a couple of words.

[u/BobDobFrisbee → u/FuckMe-FuckYou]

So sorry you had to go through that. My dad’s weapon of choice was a leather razor strop. (He was a depression-era guy who shaved with a straight razor.) He whipped the hell out of me with that thing. I don’t speak with him anymore, either. He kicked the bucket almost 50 years ago. Best day of my life!

[u/bigdruid → u/BobDobFrisbee]

My gramps told me the story about how his dad literally made a cat o'nine tails to whip him (early 1900s). Can't even imagine.

He had a big bulge on his wrist where his mom broke a broomstick on him and broke his wrist (never properly set).

People were vicious back then.

[u/Dr_Disaster → u/bigdruid]

And older generations love to claim how there were no mental health problems back in their day. Right. All the physical abuse and rampant alcoholism were effects of a mentally well population.

[u/tokinUP → u/Dr_Disaster]

Often 0 insight into how they were self-treating with all the nicotine, booze, "diet pills" (speed), etc.

It'd be hilarious if it wasn't so sad

[u/BabyBlackPhillip → u/Dr_Disaster]

TL;DR: mental health 100 years ago was a shit show

Dear God, my paternal grandparents were a shit show. I have love for them but my dad’s side of the family is what I refer to as the crazy side of my family. 1920s generation farm couple. When they got into nursing homes, they couldn’t be together because I guess GMA was getting on GPA’s nerves and he started hitting her? So I realized, there’s no way in hell he didn’t beat her during their marriage. Plus GMA was always so very strange.

They had some weird beliefs too even though they were Catholic. Like some machine/device they bought that was supposed to do hocus pocus stuff? Or I feel like I remember someone saying GMA didn’t like photographs because she thought it stole your soul? I really don’t know because I was really young and didn’t understand all this shit and didn’t like how weird my grandma was lmao.

My aunts/uncles/dad have crazy farm stories from when they were kids. I know they got beat with wrenches and stuff like that. I would say maybe one of the 6 kids turned out normal to me, and that was the baby of the family and a girl.

Two of them killed themselves in their adulthood. One is incestuous and I hate him. Another I believe was discharged from armed services because of his mental health and has schizo (there’s a story about him showing up on an aunts doorstep saying they had to kill his son because he was the Antichrist.) He is just strange. My dad is also a very unique individual, but I believe he may have turned out pretty okay because he married my mom. They have had their ups and downs in their marriage as well, but nothing comparable to my aunts and uncles IMO.

It’s really fucking sad to see the trickle down…and I wonder what my grandparents’ childhoods were like.

[u/KeeperofZoo → u/BobDobFrisbee]

This was my father's weapon of choice as well. The worst was getting woken up when he got home so I could get spanked for a day gone wrong.

[u/okay-wait-wut → u/KeeperofZoo]

Holy shit dude. Same here. There was always some chore we forgot to do. He would get me and my brother out of bed at midnight to yell at us and beat us while we did some chore. I thought I was the worst kid ever because of how mad he was. Really it was just a weak man’s way of handling a frustrating day at work. I would notice other days when I forgot to do a chore nothing would happen. As an adult I realized he was really just taking his frustration out on his children. What an asshole.

I still talk to my dad every so often but when he asks why I don’t come for this or that holiday gathering I just straight up remind him that maybe he shouldn’t have treated me like a farm animal when I was a kid.

[u/zfreakazoidz → u/FuckMe-FuckYou]

Man, whips are just nasty to use. I mean no hitting a child is good of course, but a whip. Talk about horrible. So easily causes bleeding.

[u/psyclopes → u/zfreakazoidz]

And scars. My boyfriend in high school had stripes of scars across his back from where his mom had whipped him with a belt. He defended her and just said it was how she was raised and she hadn’t known better. But far as I know she also never apologized for it, so…

[u/ErrantIndy → u/psyclopes]

It’s meaningless when they do apologize. My father apologized for what they put me through. After a few dozen times, I didn’t want an apology. I wanted it to stop.

[u/wildwestington → u/ErrantIndy]

If you apologize after you physically abuse your child, and then do it again in the future for some reason, your apology was meaningless.

If you physcially abuse your kid, they grow up, you yourself realize parts of how you raised your child where very wrong and then apologize to them for it, it could mean a lot.

[u/Forever_Ambergris → u/wildwestington]

My parents never apologized to me ever for anything, not even the small things like stepping on my foot, yelling at me for something I didn't do, breaking my stuff by accident or otherwise, etc. Hearing my mom apologize for something (anything) would mean a lot to me, and it would be a sign I could actually have a normal relationship with her. Sadly, I don't think I'll ever get to hear that

[u/mrjamjams66 → u/FuckMe-FuckYou]

My had a giant wooden paddle.

When I was an adult, I'd learned he made it in woodshop class when he was in high school. I always thought that was really weird. Like.... what teenager goes "you know, I really want kids one day, and I really wanna beat them with this 5 pound hunk of wood."

When I was an older adult I learned that my dad was into weird BDSM gay sex shit. So basically he made a paddle for use in sex and decided to also use it on his children.

We also do not speak anymore.

[u/boniemonie → u/FuckMe-FuckYou]

My father had the strap. It was that reinforced rubber belt at (supermarket checkouts ) sliced to about 0.75cm square. Wound up like a skipping rope so that you effectively got at least 10 belts for each one. Haven’t spoken to parents in over 30 years. Absolutely no regrets about it either!

[u/Gunthr8 → u/FuckMe-FuckYou]

My parents had a long piece of rubber upholstery webbing that went by the moniker “The Strap”.

We didn’t get ceremonial lashing like you see in Asia. It was a frenzied attack my parent’s needed to vent the frustration they felt from their life’s circumstances. Glad I was able to be there for them when they needed me.

Definitely has had an effect on our relationship and my relationship with all authority figures in my life to this day.

And this is why Gen X appears to be emotionally shutdown. We are.

[u/FunnyNameHere02]

I am 62; my mother suffers from mental illness and used to whip me with a brown extension cord and to this day I hate those things. When I was in Jr High a concerned gym teacher reported my whip marks on the back of my thighs and my parents got called in…that went well when we got home. I eventually became a runaway (no one looked for you back then) and ended up a ward of the state.

Thankfully, I enlisted in the Marine Corps on my 17th birthday (some one I didn’t even know from the state department of children’s services signed for me to enlist) and I had a very successful career, I have a wife of going on 30 years together that I adore, I had 5 kids who were all successful, and I never spanked them.

I cringe when I hear parents threatening their kids with physical violence. I never wanted my kids to be physically afraid of me. I remember getting under the bed and holding on to the springs as my mother tried to pull me out from under the bed or being terrified if I broke something.

Edited to add: it is easy to share anonymously and from the distance of age but when you are in the middle of it all you do is clam up and try to avoid conflict. As for the military at such a young age, I went in as a hs dropout and retired as an officer with a degree and a nice pension. It sounds strange but I learned discipline and caring about something or someone other than myself and I have zero regrets.

Thank you to everyone who responded; I hope that all of you who had that trauma find the peace I have.

[u/KofOaks → u/FunnyNameHere02]

I never wanted my kids to be physically afraid of me.

My dad used to say "There are 2 things that control the world; Love and fear, and it's not hard to figure out which one I chose.

We don't speak anymore. He's an asshole.

[u/richh00 → u/KofOaks]

Sounds like a cunt.

I hope think work out better for you, mate.

[u/Nice-Analysis8044 → u/FunnyNameHere02]

What a world, though, when a kid’s first loving, supportive environment is checks notes the U.S. Marine Corps??

[u/FitLaw4 → u/Nice-Analysis8044]

Actually..as much bullshit as the Marine corps is it really can be a supportive environment depending on your unit. I got lucky with my second unit and they seemed to actually care and want to help you out. And as you gain rank you get more familiar with the ins and outs of the corps and it feels comfortable and you begin to feel like it's your family.

[u/gigglesworthy → u/FitLaw4]

I could definitely see that about the unit, based on what folks have told me.

What about boot camp? We've all heard about the drill instructor, but besides him is there a caring support system in boot camp.

[u/FitLaw4 → u/gigglesworthy]

No there is nothing caring or loving about boot camp. That does suck but it's 3 months long then it's over. And you feel motivated as hell once you graduate.

[u/wantsomechips → u/FunnyNameHere02]

What gets me is people like to brag that they were hit as a kid. They'll say things like, "I was whipped as a kid and I turned out fine!" every single time, it's from someone who is definitely NOT fine. Such a weird flex

[u/knoeKNAME → u/wantsomechips]

And even if they were fine… doesn’t mean everyone is.

Take smoking cigarettes for example… some people get cancer and some don’t… that doesn’t mean it’s safe to smoke..

[u/Intelligent-Ad9659]

Flip-flops are the choice of discipline in my neck of the woods

[u/Ok_Photo9220 → u/Intelligent-Ad9659]

LA CHANCLA

[u/orbituary → u/Ok_Photo9220]

Cuban here. My mom could throw hers around corners.

[u/whatproblems → u/orbituary]

it’s a skill passed down by generations

[u/Sea-Committee3922 → u/Ok_Photo9220]

Here in Miami we have a brewery that does a beer called La Chancla 😅

[u/mcbvr → u/Intelligent-Ad9659]

Ah yes the hispanic go to. Remember to duck!

[u/cuby87]

When I was in kindergarten, they had a wooden paddle with a smiley face on it, called Mr Love. I have a memory of one women holding me up as I was kicking to get free and I could see the principal walking over from her office with Mr. Love in her hand.

I used to have nightmares as a kid, stuck at the top of the climbing castle or whatever in the court yard and the principal chasing me around with Mr Love.

They also had some vile liquid they would put in our mouths if we sweared. Taste would linger for hours.

Fun times !

[u/zfreakazoidz → u/cuby87]

My dads paddle has the bible verse on it about the subject.

[u/psyclopes → u/zfreakazoidz]

“Spare the rod, spoil the child” or the actual Bible verse? Either way, tell him the word ‘rod’ was likely translated from a Hebrew word that means shepherd’s staff. Do shepherds beat their sheep with their staff or rod? No they guide them. Much like Jesus was a shepherd to his flock, the parents are shepherds to their children and the Bible is actually instructing parents to actively parent their children.

But that’s the problem with deriving morality from a game of Telephone played across thousands of years and dozens of languages. Things get lost in translation and people end up doing the opposite of what they’re supposed to.

[u/keto_at_work → u/psyclopes]

Back when I went to church, there was a pastor that studied ancient biblical Hebrew and Greek so he could read the Old and New Testament in their original language.

He was forced out of the church when he made the argument that in Leviticus (where the "you shall not lay with another man, as this is a capital sin" verse comes from) it is not speaking of homosexual males, but instead referencing incestual rape (possibly directly referencing the story of Reuben and Bilhah), or male/male rape.

Blog post referencing another biblical researcher who makes the same points.

[u/Ellen_Musk_Ox → u/keto_at_work]

I am really fascinated by learned interpretations of ancient text. But I'm also of the belief that the people who "misinterpreted" it both long ago and today don't have any interest in learning anything from religion, ancient texts, stories, parables etc.

They use it all to justify their own prejudices. Prejudices they already know are wrong, that's why they're seeking biblical validation.

[u/rokr1292 → u/keto_at_work]

I'm an atheist, but I would absolutely attend and sit through a weekly scholarly lecture on the original language content if I could.

[u/lordgoofus1 → u/cuby87]

Think I know what you're referring to, the name escapes me but it tasted like black licorice. Really bitter/sour, and the taste lasted for a good while. Way worse than the wooden spoon or the cake of soap in the mouth.

[u/No_Patience_5056]

When I was a kid mom made me kneel on a cheese grater until she’d tell me to stop. All of us should all come together and confront our older parents, we can kick their asses together, out of love

[u/Chandler15 → u/No_Patience_5056]

Jesus Christ. That’s just vile, I hope you never got cut on it. Disgusting for anyone to do that, especially a parent.

[u/matty_m]

I like how parents used to pitch corporal punishment as some kind of corrective. But most of the time it was just angry parents not knowing how to handle their own temper.

[u/FirstTimeWang → u/matty_m]

Ohhhh yeah. Weird how it stopped around the time I was big enough to fight back 🤔

[u/Aidian → u/FirstTimeWang]

I’m significantly taller than anyone in my family for generations.

The last time I got abused was when, after being hit, I finally yelled right back and loomed over him. My father flinched, and it was empowering and horrific.

I left and never saw him again, outside of passing. He died, alone, years later. Weird how all that works.

[u/Dark-_-Legacy → u/Aidian]

Never really realized that it end when I got bigger. I've always been a big kid, at the age of 13 I was the biggest person I'm my house and the beatings began to slow.

I love my mother but her reasoning was flawed. She said she knew I was going to be a big kid so she had to have something to make me listen.. At then time as it was happening it made sense, but four years later I sometimes wonder... If she would of just been strict rather than physicallu punish me, the end result would of been the same right?

I don't know, for a long time she framed it as a good thing, just something to keep kids in line. So on one hand, I think it was mostly okay however that's only for my case, on the other hand I can recognize it's most likely cause I was raised being told that it was okay not because it is.

[u/Avinexuss]

Welp... time to burn it

[u/carpekl]

Speaking of discipline. Anyone else who got beatings as a child, do you flinch when someone's hand gets near your face? I'm pretty sure that I get like that because of my mom slapping me when I was in trouble.

[u/mindspork → u/carpekl]

People ask me why I'm so jumpy all the time and I'm like "It's a self defense mechanism."

[u/thatasshole_stress]

My ex-wife used to mention how her dad had taking a circuit board out of something like a VCR, attached a handle to it, and she would get hit with the side that has all the solder points on it. Made me lose a lot of respect for him. That girl was a sweetheart, and never deserved to be beat like that. How fuckin sadistic of a parent can you be to do that to your child?

[u/snaughtydog → u/thatasshole_stress]

You gotta love how many parents so lovingly designed their own weapons and torture devices. Very normal and sane behavior.

[u/lumberm0uth → u/snaughtydog]

That's the thing that's killing me about this whole thread. So much effort put into 'how can I give this whip a cool name?' when you could have just talked to your fucking kid.

[u/Evie68 → u/thatasshole_stress]

My grandma had my dad kneel on shingles while she hit him with a yard stick. It's insane. Like beating isn't enough, the had to get creative with it?

[u/hthnsaro]

When I was about 10, I was struggling with my grades, and I was going thru a lot. I brought home a report card that reflected my struggles in development.

My mom literally de-belted her 400+ lb. best friend, in our house, dragged me in her room, and beat me for about 30 mins with that giant belt.

Later, she must've felt guilty, because she let me soak in the giant tub in the master bath.

Abuse such as this, as well as verbal and emotional abuse, went on from age 6, when I got molested, until I finally ran away at age 15. I lived homeless on the streets and didn't live inside again until I was 19.

I'm 35 now, been to prison, have addiction issues, relationship issues, struggle to get along with others, which in turn affects my ability to hold a job.

[u/concrete_kiss → u/hthnsaro]

I have a story like this, but the bad grade wasn't even earned. My ninth grade geology teacher lost my final project for the school year so I ended up with a failing grade and had to take summer school. I was hit over the head for being 'stupid' so many times and spent the summer grounded. And guess what? That teacher found the project towards the end of summer school and realized his mistake. And now I'm left wondering why none of the adults involved paused to wonder how a kid that was only gets As in other classes suddenly, unexpectedly failed.

That summer contributed to a lifetime of paralyzing fear over grades. It actively hindered my ability to do well for the rest of high school, and I ended up failing out of college because I was such a mental mess of test anxiety. The military gave me the resources I needed to get back on track, find some self-worth, and develop actual coping mechanisms.

I'm back now at 30 years old getting my bachelor's degree. But what a fucking waste of everyone's time.

I hope you can find a way to stability. It's not our fault for how we were treated as kids, and it's unfair that we're left to clean up the mess.

[u/Competitive-Boat4592]

strangely enough my dad stopped being abusive once whatever latent genes made me 5 inches taller than him and we found out together how strong our drywall was. Growing up was fun!

[u/Quiggling → u/Competitive-Boat4592]

It’s weird how when the kids are a physical match for them they suddenly start considering alternate methods of discipline, isn’t it?

[u/Competitive-Boat4592 → u/Quiggling]

Oh no that’s when he left, he couldn’t freely abuse my mom and I anymore since I could heave-ho his ass at 15/16. My parents are both below 5’9” and I’m 6’3 somehow lol

[u/Michaelstrong94]

Cheers to all the kids who have no contact with their parents and are breaking the cycle for their own children

[u/harryp77777]

Louis C.K.: “I really think it’s crazy that we hit our kids. It really is–here’s the crazy part about it. Kids are the only people in the world that you’re allowed to hit. Do you realize that? They’re the most vulnerable, and they’re the most destroyed by being hit. But it’s totally okay to hit them. And they’re the only ones! If you hit a dog they… will put you in jail for that… You can’t hit a person unless you can prove that they were trying to kill you. But a little tiny person with a head this big who trusts you implicitly, fuck ’em. Who cares? Just… hit–let’s all hit them! People want you to hit your kid. If your kid’s making noise in public, “Hit him, hit him! Hit him! Grrr, hit him!” We’re proud of it! “I hit my kids. You’re damn right I hit my kids.” Why did you hit them? “‘Cause they were doing a thing I didn’t like at the moment. And so I hit them, and guess what? They didn’t do it after that.” Well, that wouldn’t be taking the… easy way out would it? “

[u/MeepersPeepers13 → u/harryp77777]

If you ever go on Nextdoor, it’s just full of boomers posting every little mistake kids make and then screaming about how their parents should beat them.

[u/treesandfood4me → u/MeepersPeepers13]

Next door is a cesspool that beats most social media sites. The entitlement, righteous indignation, and unbridled neighborhood-watch-style racism is mind boggling.

[u/skratchx → u/treesandfood4me]

Someone posted a complaint in my area that there's too much noise from a nearby small airport, and suggested that the landing vectors be changed so that there's no aircraft near the house he bought. Truly the most self centered thinking I've ever seen. The silver lining was that he got absolutely ROASTED in the comments.

[u/LadyFausta]

My mom would use a wooden spoon, Dad would use his leather belt. If I couldn’t control my crying I would keep getting “spanked” until I could take all the promised lashes without sobbing or screaming. If I didn’t, they started over. If I could get through, they forced me to hug them because I needed to understand that they were doing this because they loved me.

I only recently started unpacking and understanding what happened to me. I’ve gotten all my family into family therapy and in the sibling session last week, I was asking why we were so afraid of our father despite him never having hurt us; we couldn’t put a reason to why since while he’s emotionally scary we couldn’t get past him never having hurt us… and then I remembered the spanking.

That’s the insidious part: the harm done to you is so firmly categorized as NOT hitting or beating or physical abuse, you are gaslit so thoroughly that even as an adult you can’t trace anything back to it and you have all these “mysterious” symptoms and consequences you don’t understand. I finally came to the conclusion that even though my mind has been lied to I couldn’t lie to my body. It remembered what was done to it, and so even though “my dad never hit me” I was filled with dread and terror every time he became angry or raised his voice; his ice blue eyes that burned through mine if I ever looked him in the eye makes sense, for the first time ever I understand my fear.

[u/DChapman77 → u/LadyFausta]

while he’s emotionally scary

I realize the spanking part was a huge contributor, but this part likely is as well. I broke the cycle of physical violence with my kids but for a short while began to yell (I can be scary and intimidating). I realized it was having a detrimental effect on them and went to therapy so I could be better. While I haven't yelled at them in years, I'm still rebuilding their trust. It breaks my heart.

[u/Desperate_Green143 → u/[deleted]]

Man, those sleep regressions are TOUGH. When my kids were at that age, I was exhausted all the time but my auntie said the best thing to me and I’ve never ever forgotten it. I’m passing it to you and your wife with as much love as it was passed to me

— Let them be little. The days are long but the years are short. —

It helped me during difficult infant and toddler stages, I hope it serves you well, too. Good luck, friend!

[u/TsLaylaMoon]

My parents are also abusive pricks too but funnily they have no memory of it when there's company

[u/MrBoo843]

How the hell does a person use this on their child and not immediately feel like a monster?

[u/IDespiseTheLetterG → u/MrBoo843]

They were abused and have to normalize it and face the full extent of their victimhood. Many people use violence as an escape from feelings of weakness.

[u/Kymferno]

My parents used a wooden paint stirrer from Home Depot. It says "my name's Butt Stick!!" On it, and it still hangs in Their house. My parents and my sister threaten my nephew with it, and it makes me horrified tbh. He has asked me to take it home with me and they just tell him they will get a new one.

Edit: To be clear, they did not use it often on me, only like 3-4 times. I have never seen it used on my nephew. They just threaten to use it when he is misbehaving.

[u/ErrantIndy → u/Kymferno]

You need to stand up for him, darlin’. I know it’s hard. I know it plays through your trauma, but didn’t you wish you had someone to speak for you? Be that person for him.

[u/KFCConspiracy → u/Kymferno]

If you're there, fucking break it. Tell them it's not OK.

[u/D34NY]

I just used to get random belts.

[u/GamiCross]

My happiest childhood moment was the day I grabbed that bullshit in mid-swing and just GLARED at my foster father to remind him in no uncertain terms, this situation could potentially turn REALLY bad for him REALLY fast and I wasn't taking his abuse anymore.

That day onward I just saw him as this pathetic broken man who never deserved to be a father and just hated people.

Walk away from it, and focus on your own mental health.

[u/polarwaves]

My stepdad used to beat on his son heavily when we were growing up. His son never graduated high-school and went to prison for 5 years. Anyone who thinks physical abuse is the answer in raising children is ignorant

[u/thisonetimeonreddit]

My parents used to hit me too.

One day I got big enough to hit back. They both lived to regret teaching violence as a solution to problems.

Don't hit your kids, folks.

[u/devious_204 → u/thisonetimeonreddit]

The second last time my step dad hit me I was 14, I didn't move, so he hit me harder and knocked me over causing me to fall over and hit my shoulder on a chonky wood bedframe. I grabbed my guitar and stood up and was getting ready to swing when my mom came into my room and kicked him out of it.

The last time he threatened to kick my ass I was in my early 20's. I politely reminded him I wasn't a 10 year old kid anymore and he was more than welcome to come down and try but I wouldn't advise it as there was atleast 15years worth of trauma that he would be getting back. He stammered and called me sister (his bio daughter) and yelled at her for an hour.

The last time I saw him was his mother's funeral where I took his pack of cigarettes out of his shirt pocket as soon as he said hi and lit one up for myself and handed his pack back to him without asking. He then complained as to why my brother (his bio son) wasn't speaking to him anymore. I just said "Oh, maybe you should have been a better parent then."

When the power dynamic shifts, its great. He is now living a very lonely life knowing that none of his grandkids know who the hell he is.

[u/bengalstomp]

My dad used to “spank” us pretty bad. Until I was kindergarten he said he’d spank us with hand and belt and it would leave welts for days sometimes. Then, he talked to a counselor who suggested time out instead and he never spanked us again. Idk if our behavior improved but I think it helped everyone’s sanity and wellbeing! He has apologized over the years for his previous behavior. He sobbed over how bad he felt. And I can empathize with a single man who was really just a kid with 2 unruly children to take care of in poverty… a recipe for disaster! Im very grateful for that counselor who taught my dad about timeout and my dad being willing to listen. I would never lay a hand on my daughter in anger or in the name of “discipline”. Crazy to think that the very last segment of the population (our children) we’re legally allowed to physically assault is one of the most defenseless and vulnerable. It was huge for me to forgive my parents for their shortcomings. A therapist told me the worst part of our parents is that they had their parents.

[u/DChapman77 → u/bengalstomp]

HUGE kudos to your dad for being willing to change and apologize for his mistakes.

[u/Lethophobia]

My dad hit us with a leather strap he made. He hung it in the kitchen so we kids could see it everyday. I hope he is burning in hell right now!

[u/andremiles → u/Lethophobia]

Username sadly checks out :(

[u/zfreakazoidz → u/Lethophobia]

Leather is just super painful. Especially for those dads (or moms) who use full force. It easily bruises you.

[u/tjsoshi]

My mother used a wooden spoon on me. Just last christmas she gave me a wooden spoon as a gift. She said it was funny because "im the only who makes a big deal about it". Really im just the only one thats called her out for it and said that it wasnt right. I wanted to break the thing over her head.

[u/We_Are_The_Romans → u/tjsoshi]

When she steps out of line you should whoop her ass with it

[u/Rxasaurus → u/We_Are_The_Romans]

Oh mom, don't be such a baby

[u/That_Shrub → u/Rxasaurus]

MOVE YOUR HANDS, MOM

[u/shesanoredigger]

I have to add my own story tax.

I was four. I can’t remember what I did, but my dad told my mom she had to spank me for it. She led me to the guest bedroom. Told me to lay belly flat on the bed. She grabbed a tennis racket and walked over to me. She told me to scream as loud as it should hurt. I was terrified. This amazing woman then started beating the bed with the tennis racket!! For some reason I wasn’t even confused - it all made sense. I just started screaming “as loud as it should hurt”. She then said don’t tell your dad. Tell him it hurt and you’ll be good. And that’s when my mom solidified herself as my favorite person. ❤️

[u/TappedIn2111]

What kind of psycho names his instrument of abuse and neatly wraps it with duct tape for handling purposes I assume and has a place for it to hang?

[u/Dirxcec → u/TappedIn2111]

My Dad's was called the "Sense stick" cause it was there to beat some sense into you. It had a place on the wall in the garage.

I'll give him credit because he was an artist and thought it was creative/funny but It's probably why I left his house at 14 with a bat in hand.

[u/zfreakazoidz]

Just to be clear, it was used maybe three times for spanking. He prefered a wooden ping pong paddle. Even then I was rarely spanked. He learned spanking didn't really do much.

Oh man, this thing blew up huge on here. I wonder if my parents will see this. Hi if your reading this! ^{_^}

[u/luxii4 → u/zfreakazoidz]

IDK my dad spanked me out of anger more so than discipline until I was big enough to fight back. I hated him for so long but he has dementia now so we get a long a lot better.

[u/Buddha473ml → u/luxii4]

My dad literally had a heart attack the very first time I fought back. Watched his eyes roll into the back of his head.

[u/sugarface2134 → u/Buddha473ml]

That sounds really traumatic. Are you okay? <3

[u/Buddha473ml → u/sugarface2134]

After that happened I stayed with one of my friends for awhile. They knew how bad the situation was at home and made sure I understood this wasn’t my fault. The traumatization didn’t really stop from ages 8-21 but now I’m happier than ever and I’ve been with a wonderful woman for 10 years that I plan on proposing to this year. Life is so tough… but it’s also incredibly beautiful. I think I can finally say that I am okay. Thank you.

[u/Mr00Anderson → u/luxii4]

Same here with my dad. Anger release not discipline. He is dead now anyways. Didnt listen to doctors about eating healthy and had another heart attack at 57. Go figure. Cause a ton of pain & contribute to my Sisters death all to end himself early. Duche bag deluxe.

[u/thinkconverse]

Reading this thread I’m just realizing how much of my childhood my brain has blocked out.

[u/happycowsmmmcheese]

My dad spanked me ONE TIME. Sometime later, he sat me down and told me it was wrong and he would never do it again. That conversation had such a major impact on me.

I don't talk to either of my parents anymore. I remember that spanking well, and I remember that it was done at the behest of my mother, who was incredibly abusive to both me and my father. I chose to cut contact with her a long time ago, and I'll never change my mind about that. But my dad and I lost contact because his life went sideways. He's homeless and addicted to drugs now. I reported him missing a while back, and when the police contacted me they told me he was fine, they knew where he was, but he didn't want anyone to find him so they couldn't give me details. It breaks my heart. I know the next time I hear about him, it'll be because he will have passed.

To all of you in these comments who identify with the post, I'm so sorry your parents treated you like that. Abuse is never okay.

[u/mslinky]

My mom used a 3-sided wooden ruler, called "the fat ruler". At almost 60 I still have spider vein marks on my thighs from the bruises and welts it gave me.

She died an ugly, protracted death from breast cancer. I don't know why but I still sat by her bedside for a week until the end. I never spanked or laid a hand on my kids, and now they are wonderful, non-violent, caring adults.

[u/maglifter]

My old man would fire up the belt on me and my siblings after after knocking back a 12 pack. two inch wide brown leather he was an oil rig rough neck built like a silver back gorilla. We are lucky to be alive.

[u/FreudianSlipperyNipp → u/maglifter]

Jfc, what a coward. Bet it made him feel real tough to beat the shit out of children. Like, if you want to hurt someone at least pick a fair fight.