r/meirl • u/Jimbo072 • Jan 28 '23

meirl

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[removed] — view removed post

17.2k Upvotes

87% Upvoted

4.8k

u/737_LEL Jan 28 '23

A uterine bouncer

2.3k

u/Leto2AndTheCrew Jan 28 '23

A womb warden

1.4k

u/chainer1216 Jan 28 '23

A Vaginal Vigilante

229

u/Fun_Sport_6694 Jan 28 '23

A Coochie Cop

126

u/SpontaneousNubs Jan 28 '23 • Spit-take

A muff la migra

30

u/40calpat Jan 28 '23

Funny as fuck. Lmao

19

u/MammothPrize9293 Jan 28 '23

Yo this whole comment section is golden

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135

u/vcorsi216 Jan 28 '23

ovary obstructor

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1.4k

u/Logical_Highway6908 Jan 28 '23 • Gold All-Seeing Upvote Narwhal Salute Eureka!

A Gynecological Gandalf.

YOU SHALL NOT PASS!

146

u/MoriasEkhai Jan 28 '23

Goddamnit...!

Take the angry upvote, you filthy animal...!

65

u/Logical_Highway6908 Jan 28 '23

When the sperm die in the race:

“Some of you may die but it is a sacrifice I am willing to make.”

49

u/Sashka-the-Great Jan 28 '23 edited Jan 28 '23

new research has shown that "there is ample evidence to show that as millions of human sperm cells swim towards a waiting ovum or egg, only one gets to fertilize it. Now, a new study shows that even though the fastest and most capable sperms reach the ovum first, it is the egg that has the final say on which sperm fertilizes it."

so basically we could have almost been exterminated by the egg if they considered us "unworthy".

9

u/Intelligent-Box-3798 Jan 28 '23

This is the validation I’ve been looking for

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16

u/MoriasEkhai Jan 28 '23

You evil prick...!

I don't wanna upvote this Farquaad reference, but it was masterfully done!

Take the angry upvote, and get gone, y' heathen...!

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130

u/Jesus-jedi Jan 28 '23

Un-motherfucker

59

u/changopdx Jan 28 '23

A coochie cul de sac.

80

u/frank_madu Jan 28 '23

Also the Tesla logo

18

u/TheGreatGameDini Jan 28 '23

Oh shit

That makes a lot shit make sense now.

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17

u/pretentious_hat Jan 28 '23

I think that every time I see the logo! Lol

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33

u/Brohan_Johanson Jan 28 '23

“T for time to leave”

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3.6k

u/nv_rose Jan 28 '23

Baby blocker

591

u/Supafly1337 Jan 28 '23

According to my mom, an unsuccessful one.

68

u/DaxDislikesYou Jan 28 '23 edited Jan 28 '23

I dunno what happened with your mom but we used this for 13 years with no issues. Decided to have a kid, so she jad it removed, boom pregnant the next month. It was shockingly quick and told me exactly how good the IUD is.

And I should add this was our only form of BC.

25

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '23

[deleted]

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352

u/HIGH_HEAT Jan 28 '23

I love your user icon.

270

u/nv_rose Jan 28 '23

Thanks lol, but I'm gonna change it soon

212

u/Rampagingflames Jan 28 '23

You can't change perfection.

231

u/nv_rose Jan 28 '23

Aight

86

u/Mrjasonbucy Jan 28 '23

Something about it makes me want to upvote your comments

36

u/IsolatedSoul07 Jan 28 '23

Yeah it feels like I'm being mentally manipulated to have this sudden urge to upvote

56

u/nv_rose Jan 28 '23

It's ok, I know you love seeing orange

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35

u/screwthatshitt Jan 28 '23

Don't fall for his tricks

35

u/MGJames Jan 28 '23

It's too late now, look at his upvotes. He has already brainwashed the masses with the updoot picture, we have been defeated.

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14

u/PeanutButterCrisp Jan 28 '23

When someone compliments me, this is how I’m gonna respond.

Now say ‘Aight’ to me too.

57

u/HIGH_HEAT Jan 28 '23

Don’t do it.

69

u/nv_rose Jan 28 '23

I won't

42

u/fiocalisti Jan 28 '23

Now I wonder if you already did and I never saw the old one.

40

u/nv_rose Jan 28 '23

Nah it's been this since shortly after I made this account

8

u/False-Professional82 Jan 28 '23

Please consider a purple sideways arrow

10

u/nv_rose Jan 28 '23

Suggestion has been taken into consideration*

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9

u/FartingInYourMilk Jan 28 '23

That’s not how you give in to peer pressure. Your parents would be so disappointed you decided to stay vigilant and neither bend nor break.

16

u/nv_rose Jan 28 '23

I'm sorry mah and pah 😔. I'll do better

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2.8k

u/Baycat1990 Jan 28 '23 • Spit-take

A DUI

1.8k

u/Electrical-Wear256 Jan 28 '23

You idiot. That’s an IED

44

u/TheHolyPapaum Jan 28 '23

No, that’s an ICBM

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26

u/Gillalmighty Jan 28 '23

A bomb?

11

u/WatchingInSilence Jan 28 '23

And we're totally naming our kid Cher!

5

u/AdamantiumParakeet Jan 28 '23

Or Todd

8

u/WatchingInSilence Jan 28 '23

Vanessa will never, ever let you name her child Todd.

Krystal with a "K"? Nah, it's is too strippery.

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13

u/mallik803 Jan 28 '23

Infant explosive device?

11

u/Amity83 Jan 28 '23

Moron , thats a UTI

8

u/grem111 Jan 28 '23

You joke but i have to mentally unscramble before i say either EVERY time

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56

u/LieDetect0r Jan 28 '23

It’s a fishing hook

18

u/Electronic-Donut8756 Jan 28 '23

This. A very expensive fishing hook.

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5

u/EarlCountyLogSplit Jan 28 '23

A fishing hook with the hooks straightened

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2.1k

u/manwithoutcountry Jan 28 '23 • Take My Energy

Easy, it's a pogo stick for a mouse

14

u/KingSteel1608 Jan 28 '23

Damn it my comment ideas are always getting taken lmao

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603

u/shitsonrug Jan 28 '23

Flux capacitor.

357

u/biggerBrisket Jan 28 '23 • Bravo Grande!

*Fucks capacitor

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18

u/PleasantBanana Jan 28 '23

Great Scott!

30

u/Beneficial-Star-7947 Jan 28 '23

Do you have the continuum transfunctioner?

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1.7k

u/Jungle6669 Jan 28 '23

What is this? A crossbow for ants? It needs to be at least 3 times bigger than this.

399

u/highly_uncertain Jan 28 '23

I will never stop making Zoolander references until the day that I die. My husband hears the same joke every time we go to Costco and see the mini office furniture displays and if it leads to our divorce, so be it.

120

u/Security-fish Jan 28 '23

"Welcome to costco, i love you."

7

u/Mecha_Derp Jan 28 '23

also a great movie

17

u/storiesamuseme Jan 28 '23

As it should be

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91

u/Previous-Ad-376 Jan 28 '23

It’s a crossbow kids who attend the Center for Kids Who Can't Read Good and Who Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too

14

u/Smidge_Master Jan 28 '23

Wouldn’t it still be too big for ants

19

u/Jungle6669 Jan 28 '23

Yes. And 3 times bigger would still be too small for a person.

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23

u/Atillerdahunnybuns Jan 28 '23

Haha I like you

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518

u/Ctfwest Jan 28 '23

The missing anchor for my model boat

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292

u/Ivanman66 Jan 28 '23

Penis anchor duh!

70

u/this_is_not_doge Jan 28 '23

Damn respect my boy, I definitely can’t reach it with mine

30

u/ihavenoidea81 Jan 28 '23

You’re gonna need a bigger boat

25

u/eldragon0 Jan 28 '23

Or a shallower lake. You don't see cruise ships in ponds after all.

6

u/this_is_not_doge Jan 28 '23

I’m taking my row boat to a puddle

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620

u/tadlrs Jan 28 '23

An old Tesla logo.

44

u/trainednooob Jan 28 '23

And Elons nemesis at the same time.

52

u/montrbr Jan 28 '23

I thought the same! I wonder what year they changed it from a copper color to black

25

u/remmij Jan 28 '23

I still think of an IUD every time I see it.

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14

u/myskepticalbrowarch Jan 28 '23

It is what my mind goes to every time I see a Tesla. Glad I am not the only one.

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350

u/Street_Cockroach_933 Jan 28 '23

Golden pickaxe

86

u/dreneeps Jan 28 '23

ROCK AND STONE!

53

u/Nezzie Jan 28 '23

IF YOU AIN'T ROCK AND STONE, YOU AIN'T COMIN HOME!

20

u/IAmThePope69 Jan 28 '23

DID I HEAR A ROCK AND STONE?

17

u/cannotcant Jan 28 '23

ROCK. AND. STONE.

12

u/HazelTheRabbit Jan 28 '23

COME ON GUYS! ROCK AND STONE!

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24

u/RiEira Jan 28 '23

ROCK N STONE TO THE BONE

23

u/Emphraa Jan 28 '23

DID SOMEONE SAY ROCK N STONE?

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22

u/Toadkillerdog42-2 Jan 28 '23

ROCK AND ROLL AND STONE

13

u/Cardboard_Chef Jan 28 '23

furiously slaps fuzzy dice

FOR KARL!!

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11

u/DasChantal Jan 28 '23

ROCK AND STONE TO THE BONE

14

u/SlayerDoom_ Jan 28 '23

ROCK AND STONE!

10

u/Soulerrr Jan 28 '23

THESE STAIRS GO UP!

Wait, wrong dwarf...

5

u/TheSuperTest Jan 28 '23

I AM A MOUNTAIN! I FEEL…ow!…nothing..

6

u/bogeyed5 Jan 28 '23

We’re rich! We’re rich! We’re rich! We’re rich! We’re rich! We’re rich!

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370

u/jwkd393 Jan 28 '23

easy! it's about 35 cents worth copper

197

u/Far_Cut_ Jan 28 '23

Investing in this 35 cents of copper will save you hundreds of thousands of dollar.

27

u/ficiousconscious Jan 28 '23

But only for a limited time

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23

u/Rustys_Shackleford Jan 28 '23

Too bad this 35 cents of copper costs about $500-$1200.

5

u/greina23 Jan 28 '23

Mine was $500 and insurance didn't cover it. But I was not going to get pregnant again.

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177

u/Aa-338 Jan 28 '23

A super great crossbow for vaginas. Helps her fight off unwanted guests

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225

u/CreamyFunk Jan 28 '23

Nice try. I'm not mansplaining to you

61

u/Wild_Bill Jan 28 '23

I tried mansplaining manspaining to my wife once. She was not entertained.

23

u/Trebol_Demon_King Jan 28 '23

Someone was fighting me on an LGBTQ topic and said I was mansplaining when in reality I was actually correct and she was the idiot lol

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49

u/Financial-Horror2945 Jan 28 '23

Did you just mansplain that you're not gonna mansplain

Oh shit now I'm mansplaining about mansplaining.

Oh shit I'm now mansplaining about how I'm mansplaining about you mansplaining

16

u/nutterbutter1 Jan 28 '23

That’s not how mansplaining works. You see, it’s when you explain something to someone because you assume they don’t already know because you’re the only person who knows things. Do you get it now?

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13

u/toriemm Jan 28 '23

I'm about to hit you right in the patriarchy

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170

u/losbullitt Jan 28 '23

A grappling hook for the cooche.

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142

u/happyclaim808 Jan 28 '23

Santa's key to Every lock in the world.

45

u/FuckMe-FuckYou Jan 28 '23

He does know all the naughty girls.

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42

u/amir-hadi-nejati Jan 28 '23

who said that we know everything?

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29

u/RandomBlackGuyMedia Jan 28 '23

The world's teeniest razor scooter folded to put away

38

u/Oritaku Jan 28 '23

Mini crossbow

18

u/Mbwellington88 Jan 28 '23

A failed attempt at the Yellowstone symbol?

18

u/parispateDAB Jan 28 '23

That one thing that you put inside the other thing

16

u/Dont_Wanna_Not_Gonna Jan 28 '23

To stop that one thing from getting to that other thing and causing a much bigger thing to come out of the original other thing a while later.

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161

u/Twyzzle Jan 28 '23

Probably soon to be illegal in half a dozen states. I dunno 🤷

16

u/Poemang94 Jan 28 '23

It's actually a pin in protest against those who wanna make laws against birth control.

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40

u/MrStoneV Jan 28 '23

Woah woah, that must be a weapon then!

36

u/revelrebels Jan 28 '23

Nahhhhhh those are perfectly safe.

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61

u/Old-Set-2223 Jan 28 '23

It’s the thing that prevents child support payments.

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39

u/CbessShowEddie Jan 28 '23

yo that’s a reusable toothpick

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40

u/TRUST229 Jan 28 '23

It's to check brass instruments for microscopic cracks caused by vibration. Just google "sounding".

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44

u/uncreativeusername31 Jan 28 '23

It’s either an IED or a UTI or a mixture of those letters.

17

u/imajumpingbean Jan 28 '23

Definitely an improvised explosive urinary tract infection

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u/Quallen_ Jan 28 '23

A UTI is a urinary tract infection, so I doubt it's that

42

u/Axyon09 Jan 28 '23

I also doubt that it is an improvised explosive device either

19

u/Quallen_ Jan 28 '23

I mean, it's not impossible...

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10

u/Jokesiez Jan 28 '23

Dont needa pull out no mo rig

10

u/DarkBladeMadriker Jan 28 '23

To quote Deadpool, "a bomb?"

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9

u/Mindsofmeeting Jan 28 '23

A mini jack hammer for a cucklord

56

u/-bobsnotmyuncle- Jan 28 '23

Isn't that an iud?

40

u/Vhal14 Jan 28 '23

International... universal... dick?

4

u/775416 Jan 28 '23

I know you’re joking, my comment will be for anyone genuinely confused.

IUD stands for Intra Uterine Device. It is a contraceptive women use.

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21

u/Rude-Conclusion-2995 Jan 28 '23

You are correct

20

u/CopAPhil Jan 28 '23

No, it’s a fishing hook

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9

u/omegasaga Jan 28 '23

That's the pin of a dildo grenade. Once you pull it out the dildo becomes a seeking missile to the nearest orifice.

7

u/TheSkinny06 Jan 28 '23

Cream pie scarecrow

20

u/LogiCparty Jan 28 '23

A girl who says you can cum where ever you want.

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7

u/JakeArewood Jan 28 '23

And insect sized bike pump

9

u/tnfrs Jan 28 '23

thats a coochifix

11

u/DaBears2112 Jan 28 '23

The T Formation, Bear Down!

5

u/_Reddit-Troll Jan 28 '23

It's a fishing treble hook that let the big one get away.

4

u/epired Jan 28 '23

All these noobs... that's a pogo stick for cockroaches