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u/lordnastrond 14d ago
Imagine being born on the palm of a giant.
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u/TrooBeliever 14d ago
Imagine being born.
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u/SpentTheDay 13d ago •
Worst mistake I ever made.
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u/tunamelts2 13d ago
I don’t think this is a mistake that one can directly choose to make for themselves.
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u/JebWozma 13d ago
you were the one who rushed to the egg cell dumbass
it would've costed you nothing to just stop
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u/DW-64 14d ago
Bright light
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u/tegs_terry 13d ago
An intense pressure like I'd never felt before. Father, dressed in white, pulls me forward. Mother bites the cord.
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u/hellothere42069 13d ago
Fun fact this little guy wasn’t born he was hatched
Born means live ( viviparous) leaving body of mammal, marsupials, mother. Hatched means leaving of egg as in reptiles, birds, fish insects, arachnids,.
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u/Watsonious2391 13d ago
Interesting I like learning these nuances to random shit like this lol. I'll randomly remember this some conversation multiple years in the future and not be able to remember where I learned it haha.Thanks! Also the lack of comma made me go wait what the hell is a fish insect!? I'm dumb tho
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u/hellothere42069 13d ago
Someone else pointed it out, maybe less clinically than I did, and got blasted with downvotes and people replying “shut up we knew what it meant” 🫣
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u/Katzesensei 13d ago
There are fish, reptiles, amphibians and plenty invertebrates that give live birth.
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u/roastbread 13d ago
The walls around me gave a strange pressure every so often. I could feel the liquid drain until there was nothing but warm, squishy walls pushing against me over and over again.
It started to get uncomfortable. I could feel myself being readjusted. My heavy side moved toward what felt like a small opening. The walls here squeezed me harder, but my heavy side gave way, allowing me to squeeze through the opening.
The cold air brushed against me until I was completely surrounded by it. The sounds of screaming were muffled by the fleshy bits that still filled my crevices.
Pressure from warm pointy bones surrounded me and supported my weight. It was a good feeling until a strike upon my buttocks sent a shockwave throughout my body. I couldn't help but let out a cry. Fluid spilled from my mouth and air flowed in.
I was overcome by a huge rush of energy and I didn't like it, so I kept crying. I kept crying, and it started to feel good. I cried, and I liked it.
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u/PtboFungineer 13d ago
"Ah fuck I've only just been born and I'm about to get eaten..."
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u/WaddlingDuckILY 13d ago
Imagine being born and just knowing how to walk.
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u/Morscerta9116 13d ago
Fun fact, baby humans are born knowing how to walk, they just can't physcially do it.
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u/RelaxedPerro 13d ago
Their muscles are too weak/unconditioned to do so.
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u/friEdchiCkeN_69 13d ago
not only that, the human baby has significantly more bones than in an adult human. babies have more bones that fuse together during development and maturation. so they basically have lots of broken bones that's why they also can't physically walk yet.
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u/imyourforte 14d ago
The eyes just saying where the fuck am I and what the fuck is going on here.
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u/WittyUnwittingly 14d ago
They totally do, but like... Chameleons never outgrow that expression.
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u/small-package 13d ago
It's not as noticable once you see the eyes going in different directions.
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u/WittyUnwittingly 13d ago
I've always thought of it as: if my eyes were going different directions, if be like"wtf is that" all the time, too!
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u/DinkleDonkerAAA 13d ago
Although it's fucking cool seeing both of them suddenly snap in the direction of something
Like imagine you're a little bug trying to hide, and then you see both eyes lock on to you
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u/hamburgersocks 13d ago
Chameleons are just by default afraid of everything, they can literally die of fear. Imagine the first second of existing, seeing the entire world for the first time with that frame of mind.
Little dude was going through some shit in this video.
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u/ffs_tony 14d ago
Fuck! I’m a chameleon.
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u/Unexpected_Sage 14d ago
Reincarnation
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u/Cyno_Mahamatra 13d ago
That time I reincarnated as a chameleon,
…and reinvented capitalism for the animal kingdom
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u/Lost-My-Mind- 14d ago
Sounds like my mental process after about 20 or so shots of Jack.
One time we went to a bakery at 7pm on St Patricks Day. When we got into the bakery, I had been drinking since about 11am, and I legitimately had no idea where I was, or why I was there. Then my friends all went outside, and I was just standing in that bakery for what felt like hours. Then it took days to get back home.
When we got home, we were informed by my sober girlfriend we had been gone about 30 minutes, and the bakery was 2 streets away.
We also failed to buy anything at the bakery, and couldn't remember what made us go there in the first place.
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u/Andy_McBoatface 14d ago
Dude already looks done with life
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u/HereIGoAgain_1x10 13d ago
That first 10 seconds of existential dread and then it kept going because what else is there
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u/Significant-Big-9518 13d ago
The first wakeup is the worst. Imagine not waking from a dream to this shit, but actually waking up from nothing and realizing that nah youre done being in peace with the cosmos and gotta go thru all this shit now. All the respect for him for simply not giving up then and there.
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u/IncomingAxofKindness 13d ago
He realized his life will be devoted to selling car insurance.
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u/Content_Bag_5459 13d ago
More like he realizes he will have to spend his whole life trying to blend in.
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u/Senior_Bumblebee6067 14d ago
Are you my mother?
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u/SchnoodleDoodleDo 14d ago •
’Are you my mother?’
. . . where am i ?
. . . . . what do i See . . .
WhAt is HaPpEnInG to me ?
should i Stay,
or do i Go ?
a life so smol…
..…i do not know
…i am scared…
but what are You ?
perhaps you are
chameleon
too…
…there’s something here that keeps me
calm…
i think i know…
…are you my mom ?
❤️
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u/ImNoAlbertFeinstein 13d ago
when you wake up and your feet are still knotted in the sheet, and you dont know whats going on yet, and you cant get your darn feet loose.
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u/112lion 14d ago
Where’s this from?
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u/Captain_Smartass_ 14d ago
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u/HighFlyingCrocodile 13d ago
Been reading some.. I opt for a SchnoodleDoodleDo sub.
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u/hapypup 14d ago
Me every Monday morning before work
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u/dustyb00ts 14d ago
Plus thirty minutes, but so true!
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u/SilentSamurai 13d ago
Me: "Why am I here? What is my purpose?"
Boss: "You complete work for a living."
Me: "Oh my god."
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u/mryazzy 14d ago
Except this Monday (if you are in the US at a company that celebrates Memorial Day)
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u/VirtuousVulva 14d ago
You get birthed through a condom everyday before work?
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u/Lost-My-Mind- 14d ago
.......do you not?
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u/VirtuousVulva 14d ago
Just once when I was unintentionally conceived which is why my dad hates me.
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u/BobShrunkle
14d ago
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I feel like I should stop eating peas, just in case.
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u/trippy71 14d ago
Eyes lookin like he already had enough of your bs.
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u/SpotweldPro1300 14d ago
Right eye: Dammit your face….
Left eye: Oh that’s nothing. This palm needs a facial.
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u/GrouchyPerspective83 14d ago
So tiny...and he is like waking up to life...welcome..little chameleon. Nature is so cute sometimes.
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u/Lost-My-Mind- 14d ago
He's like "Whaa.......what is this? I came out of my pouch for THIS shit??? Put me back in......I don't like it here....."
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u/Inappropriate_SFX 14d ago
I think I remember hearing they're a bit hand-shy without training... Would a fresh hatchling find a hand stressful to be near, or just consider it part of the environment?
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u/sadness-dwelling 14d ago
this little fella looked confused as fuck ngl, but that might be just how newborn chameleons be though, am no expert
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u/Similar_Ad_4528 14d ago
It looked.. so sad. I'm no expert either. Not even a huge reptile fan even though chameleons are cute.
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u/sadness-dwelling 14d ago
genuinely looks like it regrets poking its head out the egg, can’t blame it though, i would be the exact same
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u/velawesomraptor 13d ago
"My instincts tell me this is weird, but also everything is weird..."
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u/stalechipswhatkind 14d ago
I mean it’s definitely not the ideal location. I figure all natures creatures rely on pure unconscious functions when they’re born. I think scanning for danger is part of that and I think this guy knew something was up.
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u/savagedrago 14d ago
Looking sad as fuck. Poor fella
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u/remotelove 13d ago
No, not at all. That will quickly develop into the "I will kill and eat you where you stand" look soon enough.
Chameleons are interesting creatures and they always must be the kings of their own world... and yours.
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u/Manoreded 14d ago
I find it funny how reptiles are just born and then go about their reptile business like nothing happened.
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u/hellothere42069 13d ago
Fun fact Born means live ( viviparous) leaving body of mammal, marsupials, mother. Hatched means leaving of egg as in reptiles, birds, fish insects, arachnids,.
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u/Dav1959 14d ago
Poor thing’s only been in the world for less than an hour and it’s already depressed.
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14d ago
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u/_PirateWench_ 14d ago
I never knew they were THIS adorable! I’m like tearing up here bc I just love it so much
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u/Mediocre_Lynx1883 14d ago
ah crap here we go again
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u/beaverji 14d ago
That’s the impression I got too. As if he’s weary of being born yet again.
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u/WaitingForNextYear
14d ago
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And then it whips out a top hat and sings "Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gaaaaaal!"
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u/lostreaper2032 14d ago
Check please
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u/overtired27 14d ago
Oh no… not again…
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u/Lost-My-Mind- 14d ago
It's a chameleon, not a frog.
If anything, it comes and goes.....it comes and gooooooOOOOOeeeessss.
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u/Shreddzzz93 14d ago
Honestly, this reminds me so much of Littlefoot's birth from the first Land Before Time.
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u/Napoleons_Tots 14d ago
TIL baby chameleons come in a bag.
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u/darkwrath05 13d ago
Reptile eggs kinda just tend to shrink and look like that when they are closer to hatching. I believe if under ideas conditions the egg will retain its original quality for longer.
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u/DRIPPINNNN 14d ago
I have a question
Chameleons change colors right? I get this is a newly hatched one, so how long, or what’s the process for them to change their colors?
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u/AnvilsHammer 13d ago
They can instantly change it. At the end of the video you can see it changing to some Brown spots on its back.
If you are thinking that chameleons change their color to their back drop, that's a myth.
They change colors when; they are sunbathing and they turn dark to soak up more Sun, when they are threatened, or to breed. Chameleons are also very territorial, so when they come across another chameleon, they will change to intimidate the rival.
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u/hi_im_safaa 14d ago
bro gave the lethal side eye 💀
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u/ttracs149 14d ago
Wtf else is he meant to do??? His eyes are on the side of his head💀
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u/hi_im_safaa 14d ago
he could've given a bit more of a respectful side-eye. I heard the vine boom in my head every time he looked at me through the screen 🥺💔
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u/goosejail 14d ago edited 14d ago
Him looks like Gollum from the 70's animated Hobbit movie.
Lost
LOST
My precious is LOST
Edit to add: Gollum was voiced by Brother Theodore who was in The Burbs with Tom Hanks.
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u/wouldbepandananny 14d ago
Excuse me, sir? You left your deflated balloon and lizard on the counter. Please collect them before you leave. Thanks!
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u/Successful_Load5719 14d ago
Give him a big hat, name him George and teach him Kharma Kharma Kharma Chameleon.
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u/Cyrano_Knows 13d ago
Why did I watch a video of a close up of some guys hand?
Where's the chameleon?!
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u/ResponsiblePumpkin60 13d ago
It always amazes me how things that were just born look like they kind of know what they are doing already. The way he blinks and looks around is like, “ok, where are we this time?”
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u/Ricwil12 14d ago
The image shows a chameleon hatching from an egg after incubation
Reptiles like most reptiles hatch from eggs outside the body. And do not give birth.
Mammals give birth after the fetus has gestated inside the parent
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u/amohogride 13d ago
He looks like me in a monday morning.
Wakes up, stares at nothing for a bit, sigh, has to get up.
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u/Churchvanpapi 13d ago
Me in grade school when I’d be in a deep sleep and my dad comes and wakes me up for school.
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