r/WhitePeopleTwitter • u/rhodesleadnowhere • 14d ago
Well played... Satire / Fake Tweet
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u/ripyurballsoff 14d ago
Damn I wish this was real
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u/blackmetronome 14d ago
I had to check to make sure that it wasn't. The person who runs Biden's twitter is a Jersey girl who knows how to troll masterfully
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u/whskid2005 14d ago
My favourite was when they posted about the state bird and had it flipped upside down
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u/blackmetronome 14d ago
Haha yeah that was great.
Dark Brandon owes a lot to that young lady.
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u/bdizzle805 14d ago
I knew someone else had to be helping him out. That's so awesome lol!
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u/sentimental_goat 14d ago
That time when they started posting elected GOP officials who had taken loans was quite hilarious.
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u/UglyMcFugly 14d ago
When was this? I tried to goog it but just got his tweets to Big Bird
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u/Nackles 14d ago edited 14d ago
I can't find it either, but I did find this random laugh from NJ's governor Murphy: https://twitter.com/GovMurphy/status/1509974628961292289
Maybe Biden's post was related to the upside-down bird meme?
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u/UnhappyPage 14d ago
A lot of her trolling was just posting receipts of the blatantly corrupt PPP loans. But yeah that's better than most political Twitter.
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u/Competitive_Classic9 14d ago
The blatantly corrupt PPP loans (which would count as felony wire fraud and possibly securities fraud if prosecuted) that no one ever did anything about, but yet we can’t have $1 of student loan assistance?
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u/combustioncat 14d ago
The very first thing Trump did after the PPP bill was signed was to sack the inspector general who the bill had assigned to run oversight of it.
PPP was the greatest theft in world history, they just blatantly gave themselves and their friends $2 trillion of public money.
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u/HeathersZen 14d ago
I feel like a bit of a chump that I didn’t steal anything. I, too, could’ve applied for a $4 million dollar PPP loan for a fictitious company and had it forgiven.
Sigh… honest folks finish last these days.
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u/Clean-Hat2517 14d ago
Oh no the little people are being prosecuted. You aren't in the club so you don't get their privileges. You go to jail. They go to Cancun.
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u/Technical-Plantain25 14d ago
Spot on. One of those cases where you had to be "in on the grift" from the getgo; it wasn't really an open system, just needed to have the appearance of one.
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u/Kerryscott1972 14d ago
I feel this so much. All my buddies were getting $10,000 checks and I was too chicken to lie to the government
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u/SilverCod2417 14d ago
Don't feel too bad, it's a big club but we still weren't in it: I co-owned a Small Business right smack dab when that PPP shit was getting given out. The problem? Too small, they didn't want any peasants getting 4 million dollars for free and going from working poor to middle class and made damn fucking sure they put the restrictions in to prevent that. So like as said, as someone who "wasn't even honest" it still didn't work and still finished last.
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u/licksyourknee 14d ago
Lots of "trucking companies" opened up LLC'snfor PPP loans. Many of them given tens of thousands of dollars only to poof weeks or months later.
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u/bluemilkman5 13d ago
I actually stumbled upon one of these when I was looking at who bought a house in our neighborhood and it sat empty for 6 months. Turns out the owner’s husband had bought a house at the same time a town over and there was a PPP loan for the wife’s “trucking company” that didn’t exist anywhere except on the PPP website and a few LLC websites.
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u/CharlieAllnut 14d ago
That reminds me of the time he dismantled the pandemic. office in the White House because he thought it was useless (Obama started it) and then 6 months later we had a pandemic.
Trump us actively trying to break America to bits. And he's been doing it for about 8 years.
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u/Character_Bowl_4930 13d ago
Obama said he’d been warned repeatedly by the CDC that a pandemic was going to happen sooner than later. He set up response teams in multiple countries , including China . If Trump hasn’t fired them all for “ being a waste of $$” , we would have had a team in the ground in China when Covid started and a head start on dealing with it .
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u/Upnorth4 14d ago
And why isn't this a talking point for the debt ceiling negotiations? If the Republicans truly cared about spending less you'd think they would want to get the PPP money back. That's literally 100s of billions of dollars
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u/Helios4242 14d ago
Perhaps they don't truly care about spending less, but also won't care if you bind them with logic, because they can just say they care about spending less even if they dont.
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u/ToaPaul 13d ago
Meanwhile my when my wife was furloughed, her company told her to get unemployment until they brought her back and didn't tell anyone they were going to get ppp(which the company should not have gotten) and then paid it out to the employees who got furloughed--- again, didn't tell any of the employees they were doing this and when she got paid for the first time after the furlough was over and she was no longer on unemployment and it was more than we expected, she called her manager, other employees and hr and nobody knew what the hell was going on and told her not to worry about it. Flash forward a few months, my wife left the company to take care of our newborn and the irs tried to accuse her of unemployment fraud and forced us to pay back the unemployment despite her company being the one at fault. It was so stupid. The company ended up having to pay the ppp back so there's that at least. The whole ppp thing was a massive fiasco.
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u/Alittlemoorecheese 14d ago
If you can recognize whit, though...
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u/Misabi 14d ago
Whit what?
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u/PM_ME_NCIS_QUOTES 14d ago
Damn it's not?! Help my old ass that's never been on Twitter recognize this
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u/Ssider69 14d ago
Trolling DeSantis and Elmo at the same time with so few words.
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u/2pacalypso 14d ago
Brevity is the soul of wit.
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u/LightsSoundAction 14d ago
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u/Cosmic_Gumbo 14d ago
Finger fantasy
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u/Cockblocktimus_Pryme 14d ago
We gotta go and drag Charlie back down to the sewer where he belongs.
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u/big_sandals 14d ago
You can call me his dudeness or duder or... el dude-a-rino if you not into the whole brevity thing
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u/srpoke 14d ago
It took me awhile to figure out who is Elmo
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u/rosieposieosie 14d ago
I still don’t know
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u/Traditional_Web_9825 14d ago
A DeSantis garden gnome with the pointy hat and white boots! Can someone make that gif? 🙏
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u/MercilessHeart 14d ago
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u/sm12511 14d ago
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u/TJ_Will 14d ago
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u/YourMommaLovesMeMore 14d ago
I'd vote for Leslie!
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u/joeben2 14d ago
How could you vote for her?! Have you forgotten her scandal where she accepted an illegal gift donation and gave an underage intern alcohol???
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u/kogent-501 14d ago
And married two male penguins!!!
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u/fuckyouswitzerland 14d ago
I still can't take my kids to the zoo cuz of that! Thanks groomers!
It also just occurred to me that groomers is likely the boomer response to being called boomers.
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u/TheG-What 14d ago
Have you heard of the dual ticket with Liz Lemon? Google “LEMON PARTY” to learn more!
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u/battleofculloden 14d ago
The gif wasn't loading for me for a bit and I thought it was just a blank gif as a top tier joke about AOL lol
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u/tacosauce0707 14d ago
AIM Status:
~<[[{{ RuNiNg 4 Prez Yall!! Vote4Biden <3 }}]]>~
NoT a PaRt Of ThE rEdNeCk AgEnDa
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u/yesiamveryhigh 14d ago
…disconnected…”MOM, GET OF THE PHONE!!!”
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14d ago
[deleted]
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u/rubbyrubbytumtum 14d ago edited 13d ago
Annnnnddd I'm right back at the family computer in our living room, hoping desperately my crush IMs me back. She has her away message up (some song lyric I'm not cool enough to recognize) and it's a Friday night, so she's probably out doing something cool.
The door slams. My heart sinks. Not a second later, the door squawks back open. She's back. I message her again... And the away message is gone! She's actually there!
The door slams again, but I sit and wait. Not until much later do I admit that it's closed for good this time.
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u/hr_newbie_co 14d ago
Lol this song was recently added back into my current music circles. I love the song but hate how it never seems to be out-of-touch.
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u/big_d_usernametaken 14d ago
I was like, "Wait, What?
Then it hit me, lol.
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u/Mr-MuffinMan 14d ago
Can you explain
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u/AmatuerCultist 14d ago
DeSantis had his campaign announcement on Twitter but it went very badly from both a technical aspect and the amount of viewers.
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u/No-Shoe7651 14d ago
Laughably, Elon tried to play that off as a win "so many people wanted to watch, it broke the internet", no, you are just incompetent and fired all the staff who knew what they were doing.
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u/Hunky_not_Chunky 14d ago
And AOL instant messenger isn’t around anymore. It was a preferred method of chat I believe late 90s to most the 2000’s. Anyone who used it has memories of being emotional and open with they away messages.
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u/Col__Hunter_Gathers 14d ago
Anyone who used it has memories of being emotional and open with they away messages.
Feeling rather attacked right now
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u/Napalm3nema 14d ago
I’m not sure what hurt more, that, or the subtle suggestion that it was used so long ago that it can only be discussed as vague recollections.
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u/BEES_IN_UR_ASS 14d ago
Look man, ICQ/MSN/AIM played defining roles in my adolescence and early adulthood, but even I gotta admit this is exactly the case.
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u/redikulous 14d ago
In May 1997, AIM was released unceremoniously as a stand-alone download for Microsoft Windows. At one time, the software had the largest share of the instant messaging market in North America, especially in the United States (with 52% of the total reported as of 2006).
In June 2015, AOL was acquired by Verizon Communications. In June 2017, Verizon combined AOL and Yahoo into its subsidiary Oath Inc. (now called Yahoo). The company discontinued AIM as a service on December 15, 2017.
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u/Aegi 14d ago
I mean, if we're being objective about this the viewer count was increasing by about 100,000 people every minute or two until the crash happened around 600 something thousand people.
I'm a political junkie, so I always try to watch shit like this from all across the political spectrum and while it's probably true that even if there was no technical glitches they're probably wouldn't have been more than 1.5 million viewers at most, we cannot in good faith talk about the number of viewers when the crash happened before the event even fully got underway or whatever.
Basically, we can't make comments in good faith about the attendance if the technical malfunction influenced the amount of viewers.
Now that all of that logic is out of the way, fuck Ron DeSantis, and hopefully he does not succeed in the Republican primary,
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u/scatterbrain-d 13d ago
Honestly I think people are tired of acting in good faith towards these d-bags after they continuously act in bad faith towards us.
Some people deserve the benefit of the doubt, but these guys ain't them.
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u/NoDraw6288 14d ago
He old as fuck, and he trolling elmo and desantis
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u/JassyKC 14d ago
Omg. It finally just clicked for me that people aren’t actually meaning Elmo. I was so confused wondering what Sesame Street had to do with anything.
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u/aceshighsays 14d ago
people aren’t actually meaning Elmo
then who's elmo?
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u/Background_Lemon_981 14d ago
LOL. When you search Google for @POTUS, Twitter is the 11th search result. In Google-land, that’s like non-existent. Twitter is fading fast …
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u/blackmetronome 14d ago
Yeah. I find myself using it less and less. It's a shithole.
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u/gbiegld 14d ago
Doesn’t help that all the comments are filled with twitter blue musk orbiters who just post bigotry. I need a Plugin that default bans blue checkmarks
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u/blackmetronome 14d ago
Yeah i got tired of blocking blue checks. The site just isn't worth viewing anymore
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u/Andy_In_Kansas 14d ago
It keeps sending me Ben Shapiro tweets despite me having him blocked.
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u/thebenshapirobot 14d ago
I saw that you mentioned Ben Shapiro. In case some of you don't know, Ben Shapiro is a grifter and a hack. If you find anything he's said compelling, you should keep in mind he also says things like this:
Let’s say your life depended on the following choice today: you must obtain either an affordable chair or an affordable X-ray. Which would you choose to obtain? Obviously, you’d choose the chair. That’s because there are many types of chair, produced by scores of different companies and widely distributed. You could buy a $15 folding chair or a $1,000 antique without the slightest difficulty. By contrast, to obtain an X-ray you’d have to work with your insurance company, wait for an appointment, and then haggle over price. Why? Because the medical market is far more regulated — thanks to the widespread perception that health care is a “right” — than the chair market. Does that sound soulless? True soullessness is depriving people of the choices they require because you’re more interested in patting yourself on the back by inventing rights than by incentivizing the creation of goods and services. In health care, we could use a lot less virtue signaling and a lot less government. Or we could just read Senator Sanders’s tweets while we wait in line for a government-sponsored surgery — dying, presumably, in a decrepit chair.
I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: feminism, covid, novel, civil rights, etc.
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u/Capt_morgan72 14d ago
Dosent help anything worth seeing there is immediately posted on other social media sites worth being on.
Never felt the need to use Twitter. I’ll just see tweets an hr late here.
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u/No-Combination-9910 14d ago
I recently came back to check info on the Ukraine war. Holy shit, it was always bad, but now it's just unbearable. It's full of bots and the worst people on this planet.
Also, Elon keeps gloating that the platform is still working after firing all those people. But I've never seen such a big app with this many bugs. It feels like a startup that forgot to hire a tester.
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u/sugarcerealandTV 14d ago
First result in my browser, not sure what you're using
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u/thepkboy 14d ago
Same. And twitter's even got that little featured snippet like section above the search results with the latest tweets embedded
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u/sfarx 14d ago
ICQ or GTFO
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u/lynypixie 14d ago
That sound. That damn sound in my college computer lab whenever someone forgot to mute!
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u/Aegis-Heptapod-9732 14d ago
PLEASE tell me this is real. I need a good laugh today, it’s been a horrible week.
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u/penguincheerleader 14d ago
You can laugh regardless. Lighten up your week, I will send good vibes.
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u/Mallissin 14d ago
Sorry, I don't see it on the Twitter timeline for POTUS, but you should have known this wasn't real by the time.
At 11:36 PM, Biden would already be in bed.
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u/Humbabwe 14d ago
That’s actually when he starts his day. Likes to get a head start on the malarkey.
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u/I_am_Daesomst 14d ago
Dark Brandon fears not the dark
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u/Crabjock 14d ago
Before he strikes.. he waits. He sits in the shadows, patiently, Biden his time.
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u/D3dshotCalamity 14d ago
If he actually embraced Dark Brandon and just fucking laid into all these shitty people, he'd annihilate them.
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u/JeffThrowSmash 14d ago
I miss AIM so much.
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u/RedDirtPreacher 14d ago •
My wife and I spent so much time on AIM when we were dating and going to college 8 hours apart from one another. I don’t know if our relationship would have been possible without it. Talking with her on AIM taught me to type too. I would hunt and peck in the early days and she, knowing how to type would respond to my laboriously pecked out sentence almost instantaneously. So I taught myself how to actually type so I could more easily message with her. AIM has kinda been the gift in my life that’s kept on giving.
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u/tahlyn 14d ago
AIM and WOW are why I can type, as well.
My high school had a mandatory typing class (35 wpm, fewer than 5 errors) and I was able to pass it... but I can type 120 wpm fewer than 5 errors now because of AIM and because I had to be able to type and still move out of the fire in WOW (because I didn't like revealing I was a girl to online gamers).
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u/Anesuto-san 14d ago
Same, except my wife’s college was 30mins down the road lol. I had a t-mobile sidekick that had aim on it and it was glued to my hand. Everyone always thought I was talking to like 12 people but it was just her.
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u/doctorDanBandageman 14d ago
Those were good times, until I got catfished before catfish was an actual term.
Had AIM and yahoo messenger, hottest girl in school waves to me at lunch one day and I’m like okay what’s up, later that night I get an AIM message from a user I don’t have added and she says she’s the girl. We start talking and I’m like hell yeah. We talk for a few hours and then she randomly signs off without saying goodbye. We’ll aim messenger you couldn’t send a chat once someone logged off but on yahoo you could. Well I had her yahoo messenger account so I just sent a chat saying something along the lines of oh you must be going to bed or some shit have a good night see ya at school tomorrow.
The next day at school she comes up to me and says “I never messaged you fucking weirdo”
13 year old me was pretty hurt but I should have assumed she wouldn’t want to talk to me. I’m not ugly or anything but we never talked so why would she just randomly message me. Still weird it happened the same day she waved to me.
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u/rhodesleadnowhere 14d ago
What was your username? Mine was xwastedwordsx lol
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u/AshDenver 14d ago
PainlnTheAsh here … and I also met my husband on AIM, in 1999.
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u/samebutanon 14d ago
Did he have you at a/s/l?
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u/AshDenver 14d ago
Nah. He never did that bit. My eyes would’ve rolled so hard theydve sprained themselves. His profile said his hobbies were, and I quote, “Hiking, sailing, reading, my dogs.” We actually chatted on AIM for two weeks before meeting IRL. First date started at the salad buffet place (before moving to the bar) and lasted seven hours (4p-11p.) second date lasted three days. I think we’re still on the third date.
I was big into the chat rooms but mostly hung out in Metaphysics. For no apparent reason. At least they were smrat people. And we didn’t tolerate the a/s/l randos. Merciless fun would be made of them when they used that in the first five minutes!
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u/quitofilms 14d ago
That was a great read
I enjoyed the "we're still on the third date" part
Have a great day!
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u/headrush46n2 14d ago
if Biden brings back AIM this whole presidency will have been a rousing success.
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u/Helmidoric_of_York 14d ago
I'm sure this is over the heads of most Republicans... Sick burn, Mr. President! Well done.
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u/Wonderful_Painter_14 14d ago
Don’t mind me, I just have my away message up because I don’t want anyone talking to me
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u/yoshisama 14d ago
Cool beans Joe, very funny. You got them good. Now go invoke the 14th amendment to troll them harder
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u/Low-Piglet9315 13d ago
Danged progressives. Biden needs to get with the times and get a MySpace page.
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u/Certain_Weakness1873 13d ago
Would probably work as well as whatever twitter nonsense went on with Desantis.
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u/FluffyPancakeLover 13d ago
God damnit! I missed the satire tag. This would have been epic.
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u/rhodesleadnowhere 13d ago
Ha! While he may not have tweeted this, he did fire off a solid shitpost in response to DeSantis’ failed campaign announcement via Twitter.
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