r/ContagiousLaughter • u/justin420hale • 14d ago
Helluva shot
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u/JoeBoredom 14d ago
That boy has honed his skills in gym class. Mr. Thunk must have forgotten that part of his childhood.
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u/Powpowpowowowow 14d ago
Yo this gave me PTSD, in 8th grade a kid nut shot another kid who got out of the shower and legit split his ballsack open. Paramedics were called and he had to get his sack stitched up.
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u/rexmons 14d ago •
How the hell do I unread this.
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u/Level69Warlock 14d ago •
I don’t know, but I’m leaving this comment so you come back and read it again.
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u/RuitterKnightt 14d ago
calm down Satan.
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u/nightstalker30 14d ago
I too am leaving a comment to make that guy read it again!
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u/the14thwitness 14d ago edited 13d ago
Let's continue this train of comments so that guy will be haunted for the rest of the day
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u/AdventurerLikeU 14d ago
I don’t know, but all I can tell you is definitely don’t go read up on the New Zealand rugby player Buck Shelford during “the Battle of Nantes” (a match between NZ and France which is known as the most violent game of rugby in history).
Let’s just say at one point there were two balls loose on the field during that game.
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u/liandrin 13d ago
Just googled that.
Lmao he had the paramedic stitch his testicle back into his scrotum and then rejoined the game, until he was concussed and subbed out. Wild.
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u/SamIamGreenEggsNoHam 14d ago
I went to school with a kid who was on a trampoline with some friends. He was coming down as another kid was going up. Flying knee from hell directly to the nuts. He lost the boys.
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u/arcadia_2005 14d ago
Oooo I thought I was ganna read something involving the springs. Eeeesh. But the outcome was the same nonetheless.
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u/Throneawaystone 14d ago
I swear this website is going to make me learn how to unread stuff .
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u/orbgevski 13d ago
I stepped on a dudes balls one time and smashed them like ripe apricots. Nothing the hospital could do about it.
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u/TheUpsideDownBarnOwl 14d ago
You knew by each character the sentence you were typing but you went past shower. You had so many chances to stop but you instead chose to make every man who reads this's nuts curl up to their bladder out of fear.
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u/Maxman82198 13d ago
When I was in BCT for the army, a kid in my cycle was cleaning an m240b machine gun(about 25lbs) while sitting on the floor. He assembled the weapon when he was done and set it on the table he was next to and started to get up by pulling himself up by the table. The movement shifted the gun and the Buttstock end of it fell off of the table bringing the rest of the 25lbs down with it. The entire gun fell buttstock end first directly onto his left nut from about 3 feet up. I was his battle buddy to the hospital and by the time we got there it was like the size of an apple. I watched them give him a shot with a big ole needle straight into his nut and everything, it was horrifying to watch.
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u/A_Few_Kind_Words 13d ago
Oooh ooh! I did something similar as a 10-12ish year old!
I was just figuring out how to use a skateboard and found a nice big mud hill to roll down, being the madlad that I was I decided to go down the hill head first on my belly, because as we all know you go faster head first on your belly.
Everything was going well as I sped down said hill until I reached the bottom, you see where the mud hill ended the concrete began and separating the two was a small curb that had been broken allowing a relatively smooth transition from hill to pavement when riding a bike, not so much for a skateboard with a kid lying on it.
When the skateboard met the concrete it did what skateboards are wont to do when met with an impediment and stopped dead, unfortunately the kid atop the skateboard did not, as I scraped my merry way across the dirt and concrete I hit the broken curb with my belly and balls.
My belly, fortunately, was perfectly fine, my ballsack on the other hand was less so.
Once I stopped crying and checked the damage I found I had torn my sack open and my rightsicle had popped out to say hi, gotten scraped and covered in gravel/dirt, and decided to hang out for a bit.
Never lost the bollock but that was rough, definitely would not recommend, bollocks belong in the sack.
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u/Grayeagle78 14d ago
I’ve seen a guy who could snap a towel so hard he broke a faucet off a sink, no joke.
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u/dquizzle 13d ago
Our PE teacher said the same thing happened to one of his classmates in high school. Said the kid’s testicles fell right out of his scrotum. I kind of thought it was just a story to get us to stop towel whipping, but either way it worked.
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u/sschueller 13d ago
There is an instagram post where Eddie wips a wet towel at his son trying to teach him how to do it. I guess he's a quick learner and it backfired, lol
https://www.instagram.com/p/CryXQfotJLC/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
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u/ArtyWhy8 14d ago
Never let a prepubescent child have a free shot guys. They will always go for the nuts.
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u/WilliamsDesigning 14d ago
It's not just effective, it's comedy gold to them
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u/ArtyWhy8 14d ago
Quite effective.
When I was about 10 or so we all used to play pickup football a lot with the neighbors. Every so often two 17 year old linebackers on the high school football team would join us youngsters. It was fun, should note, this was the early 90s, and we played tackle, and they didn’t take it easy on us. Nor did we want them to. Let’s call them Mark and Jim.
One day Mark and Jim were playing a game with us and Mark had to leave. So being we were playing next door to Jim’s house he stuck around. But without Mark around on my team to cover Jim, I was given that impossible task. Covering the star linebacker from the varsity team, at 10 years old.
Well, you know where this is going. Jim was demolishing us, I became frustrated as one might imagine. So, as he was breaking my tackle to score once again, I reached up and grabbed him by the balls as I was falling away. He dropped like a sack of rocks.
To this day, I bet he remembers being tackled by the balls by his 10 yr old neighbor.
I can confirm. It’s quite effective🤷🏻♂️and funny😂🤷🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️
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u/uglyspacepig 14d ago
I'm going to find a way to work "tackled by the balls" into a conversation
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u/mferly 14d ago
And I'm going to find a way to work "ugly space pig" into a conversation!
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u/uglyspacepig 14d ago
Let me know how that works out! As an ugly space pig I'm always on the lookout for more of my kind.
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u/HilariousMax 13d ago
to them
as if I didn't guffaw out loud when man doubled over and almost threw up.
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14d ago edited 13d ago
[deleted]
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u/Dan_the_Marksman 14d ago
if by the older dude you mean Eddie Hall? Yeah i don't think he has siblings.
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u/xCeeTeeRdt 13d ago
I do. But they're 11-14 years older than me. I couldn't imagine my brother at 18 hitting me with a nutshot while I'm 5. Actually I can imagine it, and it's quite a hilarious thought thinking about it.
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u/tdasnowman 14d ago
It’s not just they go for them. It’s they are at an age where attacks are still common. Fuckers have twitch skills above reason. My nephew went for my nuts a few weeks ago and missed. I laughed my ass off as it’s the first stage in getting older. He then reminded me of not the actual head shots, but the screenshots he took of my head in scope in fortnight a while back. Thus reminding me that I am further on.
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u/Dimension_Override 14d ago
David n Goliath story right there
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u/e_j_white 14d ago
That guy took it like a champ!
Doubled over in pain, congratulating the kid for his aim. True sportsmanship, right there.
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u/hephaestus1219 14d ago
That’s Eddie Hall and his son. His YouTube channel is pretty good ranging from weightlifting to strongman to funny challenges to playing with his son.
I know people put on a public face, but these two seem to have an awesome relationship.
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u/greatatmodesty 14d ago
I adore Eddie Hall, he seems like such a nice guy
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u/MelodyMaster5656 13d ago edited 13d ago
It feels like all the top strongmen in the world are just really friendly and chill dudes who could also lift me with one arm.
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u/Logical-Use-8657 13d ago
Generally it's because they know they don't need to act tough so they just eminate good vibes. Most the buff dudes I know are absolute sweethearts.
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u/Dilectus3010 13d ago
Those buff gym rats that act tough and bully , are just reaally insecure.
Good thing there are non in my gym.
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u/RizzMustbolt 13d ago
You get below 5% body fat and shit starts to go haywire in your brain.
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u/nykgg 13d ago
Yeah, Eddie Hall and Bryan Shaw are like the epitome of calm whenever I watch them
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u/SafewordisJohnCandy 13d ago
My favorite is when him and Brian Shaw team up. They both look like they would be a blast to hang around.
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u/HotgunColdheart 13d ago
I've tuned into Eddies ride for nearly a decade, if he is faking anything for the camera, he is doing an amazing job.
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u/RealUglyMF 14d ago
I'd be plotting some nasty revenge if it was me. I've never found nut shots funny unless it was done in retribution
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u/AbsolutelyUnlikely 14d ago
Yeah but getting found with a bunch of plans about how you're gonna destroy some kid's nuts isn't a good look
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u/TemetNosce85 14d ago
Oooooh! So it wasn't that he put a stone in a sling, it's that he slung his stones!
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u/Old_Couple7257
14d ago
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2 people died that day.
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u/Yanos47 14d ago
Eddie Hall is a very good sport. 👍
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u/darcys_beard 13d ago
Thought it was him. Comment section is great for that stuff. Love Eddie.
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u/BaronVonSilver91 14d ago
Idt you are recognizing the true tragedy this was. Billions of lives were lost that day.
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u/Werbnerp 14d ago
I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.
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u/MaxxDash 14d ago
I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.
RIP future drain babies.
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u/tread52 14d ago
My friend lost a testicle after football practice bc someone did this to him. Don’t do this it can cause serious damage.
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u/PM_ME_UR_PINEAPPLE 14d ago
A guy at my high school had this happen and I think still goes by the nickname ‘The Uniballer’
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13d ago
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u/UltravioIence 13d ago
our one testicle'd kid was named Abel and we called him One Ball Abel
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u/lurkinsheep 13d ago
We had Single Scrotum Sam at our christian school. God kids are fucked lol.
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u/MembershipThrowAway 13d ago
I had a friend pretend to knee me in the balls except he actually went too far and did it full force and crunched my dick between it and my leg. By the time I could walk into the bathroom to check it out 2 minutes later it was already purple and swollen, it took over a month to heal and I'm glad he didn't get my balls
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u/literated 13d ago
Jesus Christ, how hard do you have to go at it to achieve that?! That sounds like some Hydraulic Press Channel level shit.
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u/puzzle_factory_slave 14d ago
never underestimate an opponent
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u/SlobZombie13 14d ago
Never lower your eyes to an enemy
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u/IW97HangNbanG 14d ago
I hope your typed this the same way I read it: Ninja Turtles, Tatsu, Shredders top foot soldier.
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u/Lucky-finn377 14d ago
Kid defeats one of the world strongest men with one shot.
And technically it’s not click bait
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u/call_of_the_while 14d ago
Boy uses towel to incapacitate world reknown strongman.
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u/annonyymmouss 13d ago
Boy strikes at the testosterone manufacturing plant thus halting all resources until further notice
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u/Aethrin1 14d ago
A real David vs. Goliath kind of story, but stones were cracked, not thrown.
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u/IsThereCheese 14d ago
dragon BALLS
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u/Muffin-Responsible
14d ago
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Rookie. Should have trained his balls.
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u/lhsofthebellcurve 14d ago •
Never skip testicle day
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u/CoolioMcCool 14d ago
This sounds like an ad you'd see at your doctor reminding you to regularly check your balls for lumps
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u/Finito-1994
14d ago
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When I was a kid my dad was a cop. I used to go down to the station all the time. The guys there were amazing. They used to get me all sorts of books on science, dinosaurs, space and fantasy. I loved it.
One time I saw my dad in a bulletproof vest. I thought it was awesome. I was also an idiot who thought it acted like a force field. I was like 5 or 6 at the time.
I asked my dad if it protected him. He said yes. I asked whether he’d be hurt if I hit him. He said no. I asked whether I could. He said yes.
So. I gathered all my strength and kicked him in the nuts in front of everyone. He went down. I remember I stood over him and said “you lied to me.”
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u/applepumper 13d ago
Reminds me of the time I had access to my cousins kickboxing gear. I put on some kinda foam helmet. Protects you in certain parts of the head. My sister asks if she could punch me in the face. I said sure thinking she would hit the big pad. She aimed right for my right eye. Bruised it and pissed me off. She tells my parents I let her do it and I retaliated
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u/PKArsk 14d ago
Lmao I think that’s his son
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u/vicente8a 14d ago
That is Eddie Hall’s son. They post vids working out together. The dad is one of the strongest human beings to ever live and I’m genuinely not exaggerating
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u/FishFettish 13d ago
I’m convinced that in his prime, he was the strongest person to have ever walked earth. I’m not exaggerating either.
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u/Hubba_Hubba81 14d ago
That's my purse! I don't know you!
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u/Hot-Performer2094 14d ago
I KNEW if I kept scrolling down comments, SOMEONE would've thought the same thing. Lol.
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u/TheThemeSongs 14d ago
When you think about it, it’s kind of wild that you can bring a dude (who at one point was the world’s strongest man) to his knees by flicking an area on his body. The balls are such an Achilles heel.
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u/mraspencer 14d ago
Achilles Testes
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u/Sp1ffy_Sp1ff 14d ago
Actually, Achilles had a brother, Bofadees who was also dipped into the river Styx, but by his nuts.
It seems you were only familiar with Achilles heel, but now you're also familiar with Bofadees nuts.
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u/AaronPossum 14d ago •
I clocked you at Bofadees but had to read on anyway. Very nice.
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u/Aethrin1 14d ago
There's a mercenary in AC Odyssey called Testechles. Guess where he's weakest?
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u/TheJudgeWillNeverDie 14d ago
While the nut shot is undoubtedly effective, I think its effectiveness is somewhat overstated. I don't think a dude like this would be so immobilized by that shot if he was raging in kill mode. It would probably just make him wince and become angrier.
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u/revolmak 14d ago
Idk, there's a boat load of nerves there. I'd it pull someone out of an adrenaline high
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u/Qritical 13d ago
I know MMA fighters are not exactly in true “kill mode”, but they’re pretty close to it during fights. Even they double over in pain when they get accidentally struck in the nuts.
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u/TheJudgeWillNeverDie 13d ago
That's a good point. However, they know that nut shots are against the rules, so they have no reason to fight through that pain. If they just go with it and naturally double over in pain, it ensures that the ref will call a stoppage (and maybe even award a point).
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u/Evening-Ant6128 14d ago
Bro hit him with the tip tickler
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u/Frozty23 14d ago
Yeah, everyone's saying the balls, but I think it was a rat-tail to just the tip.
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u/MerrillSwingAway 14d ago
Step 2: RUN!!
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u/Sp1ffy_Sp1ff 14d ago
Or stroll away, casually. He's not catching that kid at any pace in his current state.
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u/Chemist-Consistent 14d ago
Ooff buddy just lost his whole bloodline with one nut shot....
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u/obiweedkenobi 14d ago
Just a boy making sure he's the only one.
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u/RammsayB 13d ago
If that’s the goal it’s going to get dark really quick.
His mother is currently pregnant.
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u/adod1 14d ago
God the actual balls or death wish it takes to do that to someone Eddie Halls size.
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u/nik15 14d ago
I remember seeing a clip of when Eddie threw a medicine ball at Brian Shaw face. He continued to do that to the other guys.
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u/CaptAhabsMobyDick 14d ago
Took a towel whip to the tip once. The person had wet the end a little and it caused my Lil Warrior to bleed a little from his top.
Highest notes I ever hit that day.
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u/LengthinessAlone4743 13d ago
That gag reflex dry heave is a feeling only dudes can understand
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u/TriptowK 14d ago
One day we’ll evolve to have our balls on the inside…and then that little shit gets turned into a soup.
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u/H-OAP 14d ago
One of the kids at my school did this to another kid and literally busted his but open and had to get get stitches and a rod to keep his nut from contorting
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u/MisterAtticusKarma 14d ago
I love that the big dude wasnt even mad and was even mildly impressed through his pain lol
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u/HeatherReadsReddit 14d ago
He always hits him the same place. You knew what was going to happen, Eddie!
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u/msac2u1981 14d ago
That boy is just standing there laughing. I'd have been laughing as well as I was running away.
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u/Cptn_Hook 14d ago
My dad would occasionally drop the story of how they used to do this in his high school gym class. They'd get the towels wet for an extra good snap. After a time, it ended with a ruptured scrotum and a mutual agreement that the game wasn't very much fun anymore.
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u/Interesting_Poet8542 13d ago
It will not be so funny for lil dude when Hec ball slaps him in revenge🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 That's a big meat hook
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u/Fresh_Indication_243 14d ago
what a Beast. Took it like a champ and didn't turn into a rage monster and kill the kid.
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u/sineofthetimes 14d ago
According to my 6th grade teacher, someone he knew lost a testicle due to horseplay such as this. Never ever joke around about these things.
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u/Nikon_Justus 14d ago
I knew a guy that every time you walk in the room he would try to slap shot ya, we were almost always ready but not every time. One time someone blocked him and immediately slap shotted him right back and they gave it a little extra oomphf because they figured he would protect himself since it was his thing but nobody every really tried to get him back before because the guy was a damn giant. Well he failed to protect himself and direct contact was made and wow did that giant fall. That was the first time he ever got hit there and after he got a feel for it he stopped seeing the humor in it and stopped being the slap shot douche he once was.
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u/40mgmelatonindeep 14d ago
One of my earliest memories is coming back from karate practice and asking my dad if I could show him the new kick I learned, I didn’t do it on purpose but I ended up full on punting him in the nuts, he collapsed of course and started retching, it really freaked me out but he didn’t get angry or anything during or afterwards, just that 30 seconds of quiet rage while he was down and then commenced to teaching me about how sensitive a mans bean bag is.
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